viii. Any cool clubs here I can join up with?

  1. What is the Lump Club?
    The Lump Club is a group of ASVSers who share one common trait: being uncommonly large. The members of the Lump Club, among others, include Aron Kherkof, me, Graeme Dice, Wayne Poe, PREDATOR, Edam, Strowbridge, Gavin, Enigma, GA Ancaris and Chuck. Also, the Lump Club is proud to declare Colin Brian Witz as an ex-Lump, honorably discharged for medical reasons.

  2. Who are the Cleaners?
    Well, you know about the legacy, so let me tell you about the club. The Cleaners are a group of ASVSers joined by a common hatred of the trolls, idiots, and Übertrekkies infesting the group. Among their ranks are LT.Hit-Man, Rob Dalton, Mark Berger, Jonathan Boyd, Phong Nguyen, Kyle Knopf, Björn Paulsen, Pablo Sanchez, Seifert (When he's around), and Nathan Yates.

    The Cleaners currently consist of the above folks, plus maybe a few more, six specially modified Corellian Corvettes and LT.Hit-Man's personal TIE Defender (Now Chris O'Farrell's, damn it...), The Fearmeister. Don't touch The Fearmeister. Don't even think of it. LT.Hit-Man will know, and he will exact vengeance upon your sorry ass. If you need an example, talk to Chris O'Farrell, the unlucky soul who not only stole The Fearmeister but also almost killed all of them, disrupted a barbeque, stole their beer (and vaped some of it, too) and scorched the paint on one of the Cleaner Corvettes. For this, he will die.

  3. And what if I want to join the Troll Club?
    Then you shall be beaten to death with sticks.

    No, seriously, we will fucking rape you with a telephone pole. You will be TGODed mercilessly, branded, chased like a rabid animal, disdained, spat upon and undergo unimaginable torture. Your torture package includes a testicle massage with a cheese grater, two broken kneecaps courtesy of the Mallet of Doom™, two broken elbows courtesy of the Mallet of Doom MK.II™, and, our specialty, the Lightsaber Sit 'n' Spin.

    Then, you will be sent to see LT.Hit-Man.