Take a sip if:
• Elim forgets what he's debating
• A serious argument breaks out in an off-topic thread
• Paul presents conclusive evidence of Star Trek's victory
  ...based on an episode he never watched
• Someone attacks the Asteroid Calcs
• Someone is called a troll
• A reference is made to killing Wesley, Neelix, JarJar,
  ...or the entire cast of Voyager
• Someone posts a sig longer than four lines
• Boyd gets offended
• Trannie gets bashed for saying something stupid
• Sheppard spouts a typical Republican party line
• Deimos agrees with him
• Deimos top-posts a thread verbatim from SpaceBattles
• Thelea calls the Federation a "Communist Police State"
• A TGOD evolves in an off-topic thread
• Chris gets amputated (Contributed by Phong Nguyen)
• Someone gets malleted (Contributed by Phong Nguyen)
• Trannie KFs someone
  ...and forgets that he did (Contributed by Phong Nguyen)
• Isil'Zha returns to explain of how much better Spacebattles is compared to ASVS (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Trannie insults someone needlessly (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Strowbridge utters the word "fuck" twice in a sentence (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Someone mentions Trannie and anal intercourse in the same sentence (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Deimos gets on his soapbox and starts blathering on about something that he knows nothing about (Contributed by Spyda)
• Elim yawns in response (Contributed by Phong Nguyen)
• C.S.Strowbridge complains about the lack of him in a FUQ update (Contributed by C.S.Strowbridge)
• His Divine Shadow posts something that involves SB.com (Contributed by His Divine Shadow)
• TOWNMNBS is referred to in the same terms as one would describe a biblical plague (Contributed by Pablo Sanchez)
• WMA, Spyder and Mackey get in a Trans-Tasman bitch fight. (Contributed by WeeMadAndo)
• RayCav plonks someone. (Contributed by WeeMadAndo)

Have a drink if:
• Thelea leaves
• A former regular returns just to cause trouble
• A debate over guns begins
• Someone announces: I like both but I like X more
• Someone gets worked up over a humorous post
• Seifert returns and berates someone
• Dalton mentions something involving "lighting a fart"
• A fanfic gets more than three replies
• Eframepilot announces he's now lurking
• Michael January changes his name
• Kynes offends someone
• A technical debate descends into a discussion of Jeri Ryan's tits
• Trannie claims he has fybromyalgia
• Trannie gets his ass handed to him by the combined
  forces of Rob Wilson, Björn Paulsen and Lord Edam
• A Creationist gets his ass kicked
• Deimos condones the invasion of another nation
• Deimos posts a troll under a DOOM-inspired pseudonym
• Someone posts about SpaceBattles current events as if anybody cared
• A newbie enters and wants to debate old arguments (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Someone mentions that transporters are cloning devices (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Edam flames someone (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Marina uses the term mongol horde in a STGOD related post (Contributed by Cmdrwilkens)
• Iceberg comes back. AGAIN. (Contributed by Iceberg3k)
• Dalton and Phong take any thread into A/V territory. (Contributed by Matt Hyde)
• Setzer makes a non-STGOD post. (Contributed by Tyler Day)
• WMA offends someone of another nationality, particularly Phong and Americans. (Contributed by WeeMadAndo)

Take a huge gulp if:
• A FAQ is created
• A fanfic review is written
• Elim concedes a point
• A new person shows up and actually reads the FAQ before joining in
• A new part of Imperial Phoenix is written
• The group discusses how great last night's Voyager episode was
• The Baron returns to debate the superiority of Scotland
  (not uncommon, you'll just need the drink)
• Karrde gets a haircut
• Michael January shows up before disappearing again for months
• Chuck gets pissed off
• A fanfic is written (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• It turns out that a newbie is female (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Deimos is praised for his TGOD skills (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Phong gets a military fact wrong in a TGOD (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• We have a lame troll show up an it's not Deimos in disguise (Contributed by C.S.Strowbridge)
• A thread gets larger than fifteen posts without the word "fucker" (Contributed by Pablo Sanchez)
• Pablo, Björn or Spyda contribute usefully (Contributed by Pablo Sanchez)
• Strowbridge admits he is insignificant. (Contribued by WeeMadAndo)

Hook up an IV if:
• Edam is satisfied with the Rules and Regulations
• The group agrees that Kevin J. Anderson is really a pretty good writer
• Wayne Poe wants to patch up his differences with Elim,
  Paul, and TJ with a group hug
• Rick Berman posts to our group announcing that, yes,
  Star Trek is communist propaganda
• Mike Wong returns announcing the inevitable victory of
  the Battlefield Earth Psychlos over Star Trek, Star Wars,
  and Babylon 5
• Trannie actually has fybromyalgia
• Trannie argues that Communism really isn't all that bad
• Deimos contributes something useful
• Wayne apologizes for swearing (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Kynes and Boyd commend each other for good points (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Mike Wong's page is updated (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
• Rob Wilson wins the SGOTM award (Contributed by Björn Paulsen)
  (Oh boy...)
• Thelea proclaims the virtues of Communism (Contributed by Phong Nguyen)
• C.S.Strowbridge complains about too much him in a FUQ update (Contributed by C.S.Strowbridge)
• Boyd says he's leaving and doesn't return. Ever.
  (Of course, you'll have to wait all eternity to prove this, but don't let details get in the way.)
  (Contributed by Jonathan Boyd)
• A fanfic is finished. (Contributed by Shogoki)

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