A Golden Ego Award Winner


His Divine Ego

Quote #38 -- C.S.Strowbridge

And the possibility exists that I'm going to have freaky circus sex with Jeri Ryan.

Quote #42 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You know you are a special kind of dumb when you can't spell your own name.

Quote #51 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I throw around 'fuck's like most people use 'have a nice day.'

Quote #59 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I can be a real asshole when I want to. And apparently, I want to frequently.

Quote #63 -- C.S.Strowbridge

There is no minimum intelligence requirement for Free Speech.

Quote #64 -- C.S.Strowbridge

It's a hard life when you are etiquette impaired.

Quote #65 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Hey, no problem. We all make mistakes. Except for me, of course.

Quote #66 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Voyager had the worst premise; it's the Gilligan's Island of Sci-Fi. What plan will the professor come up with this week, and how will Janeway screw it up.

Quote #67 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'll have to try harder to offend you guys in the future.

Quote #68 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I think I speak for the whole NG when I say DIE INFIDEL! Sorry, I meant 'Welcome.'

Quote #69 -- C.S.Strowbridge

He should consider himself lucky, except for the fact that he died.

Quote #70 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The reason men make fun of tragic situations: 'Is it their way of dealing with a tough situation allowing humor to help heal? No, it's cause they're assholes.' C.S.Strowbridge, Asshole and proud of it.

Quote #71 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Scottish people do NOT shag goats! They shag sheep.

Quote #72 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I can't accept that someone can be that stupid and not accidentally kill themselves.

Quote #73 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Your just jealous of my huge throbbing frontal lobes.

Quote #74 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Am I the only one here who thinks "Burning Diarrhea" would be a good name for a college band?

Quote #75 -- C.S.Strowbridge

It would really help your debating success if you actually watch the movies.

Quote #76 -- C.S.Strowbridge

A truck load of rednecks with 24 beers, 12 guns and 6 IQ points could defend themselves, but you wouldn't call it a military vehicle.

Quote #87 -- C.S.Strowbridge, Professional Asshole

I may be chivalrish, but I'm still an asshole at heart.

Quote #91 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The last thing you want in a sex toy is conversation.

Quote #92 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Citing some one for cursing here is like trying to hand out speeding tickets at the Indy 500.

Quote #93 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I want to be a fan of the next series so badly.

Quote #96 -- C.S.Strowbridge

These messages are getting so long that it would be quicker to download some porn.

Quote #99 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Last time I felt the thrill of a copros they threw me out of the morgue.

Quote #103 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You do realize space is 3 dimensional, right?

Quote #198 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The World According to C.S.Strowbridge ... June 8th, 2000. Recent discussions with the being known as "Guardian2000" has led me to an incredible scientific breakthrough. This breakthrough, like some many before it, was based on the Conservation of Energy. I call it: "The Conservation of Stupidity" You see. In the past two weeks the human (and I use that term loosely) who referred to himself as Elim Garak has not posted. But in that time others have taken up the idiocy slack. Case in point, "Guardian2000" lied about what he said ("These particles just pop out of the vacuum." "Black holes AREN'T a vacuum, retard." "Nor did I say they were.") even though the truth was in the message he replied to. Eerily reminiscent of the Lotto 6/49 debate with Elim. I think that if I pursue this new theory farther, and use latin terms like Quid Pro Quo and Ipso Facto I could win the respect and admiration of the whole scientific community. And then, gosh darn it, maybe Becky Sue will finally go out with me. Or perhaps I should just start taking those little yellow pills the doctors keep giving me. What do you guys think? [I think you stole my damn theory! --Ed.]

Quote #200 -- C.S.Strowbridge

> > Well, that's just stupid. How could floating in zero gravity be > > MORE dangerous than landing? > > It shows that Voyager is too weak, without SIF, to withstand a 1atm > overpressure. In other words she'll bust open at the seams unless > the pressure differential is much lower (damn that is weak) So a good Frank'n'Beans dinner could blow the ship from the inside!

Quote #214 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Jonathan Boyd wrote: > > Does anyone have Strowbridge's email address? I do.

Quote #223 -- C.S.Strowbridge

* Warning * * Warning * * Warning * The Following post contains real science. All Pro-ST people may want to bury their heads in the sand till it passes! * Warning * * Warning * * Warning *

Quote #236 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton wrote: > > 6. Stop wasting my time. Either contribute or shut up. It's as simple > as that. Come up with something that makes sense instead of this > stupid Mickey Mouse "I'm a better physicist than Wong and Edam put > together because I said so" bullshit. Well that last part is true. You see, Edam is the Anti Wong so when you combine Mike Wong and Lord Edam you get zero. ... Nope, that's still better that Paul.

Quote #281 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'm pretty sure if you boiled down all religions into their purest form you'd get one sentence: Stop being such jackasses to each other.

Quote #306 -- C.S.Strowbridge

What the hell happened to Kennedy? We started here at (Roughly) the same time. For the first few month he was great, one of the best Pro-ST debaters. Then his views shifted from, 'ST will win if the Empire attacked' to 'The Federation will defeat the Galactic Empire' to 'One shuttle craft could wipe out all SW.' It would make for an interesting psychological study.

Quote #307 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I guess this proves that you can lead a man to math but you can't make him think.

Quote #308 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Eric: Then, the random lockups started. Windows was freezing, and freezing hard, apparently whenever the hell it felt like it. Me: So, I don't understand the problems. Seems like situation normal for Windows.

Quote #309 -- C.S.Strowbridge

He's using a 486, I'm surprised his ISP doesn't just laugh at him when he tries to connect.

Quote #310 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Please register. Remember, the votes held in ASVS are only slightly less important that the upcoming American Presidential Elections.

Quote #311 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I wanted Dan Quayle to be president. Then again, I'm Canadian so I cheer for the person that would make the most interesting target of late night talk show hosts.

Quote #312 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: And you need to stop worrying about problems that don't concern you, and also stop finding every little excuse to shit on America. Me: Especially when there are BIG reasons to shit on America.

Quote #313 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I guess everyone have a different priorities. We'll calls your 'American', and we'll call mine, 'Correct.'

Quote #314 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Anyway, to reiterate. Bush = Gore = Politicians = Scumwads. Tomorrow I'll make more blindingly obvious statements.

Quote #315 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: It's a well known fact that Canada doesn't have an army. It has a hundreds of Generals but no army.

Quote #316 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Canada has an army? I thought you just sent out all the hockey teams. Me: Yes, Canada has an army. In fact they are three of the most highly trained soldiers on the face of the planet.

Quote #317 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Mike Petrucelli: The problem is that it also tells Big Brother exactly who has what. Me: The government doesn't care. In fact, no one cares. The Big Brother Myth is based on the false premise that the details of your life are interesting enough warrant further study. God knows I'm too boring to pay attention to.

Quote #318 -- C.S.Strowbridge

GOD: KNOW THIS. I HAVE WATCHED YOUR PETTY BICKERING LONG ENOUGH. NOW, I SHALL RENDER JUDGEMENT. LET IT BE WRITTEN THAT GOD IS A STAR WARS FAN. Me: But of course. Who could possibly think otherwise.

Quote #319 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Kynes: Like the guy in "French Kiss." I mean, wait, I never saw that movie. Me: Good movie. Then again I've got a soft spot in my heart for Meg Ryan. (And a hard spot in my pants ... Rim shot!)

Quote #320 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Raynor RayCav: If it was argued a long time ago about such topics as redshirt vs. Stormtrooper, ISD vs. Soverign, ect., then what are we supposed to argue about? Dalton: Sex. Chuck: All in favor of it, raise your hand. Me: I could make a joke about one handed typing, but I won't. Robert Healey: Now we just need to get Raven in on this... Raven: Sorry, I'm all tied up at the moment. Me: Insert your own Bondage joke here.

Quote #321 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Kynes: My God, I love computers. For a repetitive task, there's nothing better! Me: You know, there's a dirty joke in there. But I'm not going to touch it.

Quote #322 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Graeme Dice: It's a website describing how to have sex with dolphins. I think that's all I needed to know right there. Me: Nope, I think that quite clearly goes into the 'more than I needed to know' category. I'd ask why Paradox knows that web site, but I think the answer will also fall into that aforementioned category.

Quote #323 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: The Barbi Twins. Twin Surgically Enhanced sisters that posed nude. Spikenard: I actually think I have a few pics of them lying around somewhere... Me: Me too, but when you have 13 gigs of porn it's hard not to have a few pictures ... Did I just say 13 gigs of porn. What I meant was, 'Porn is bad. Objectifying women is wrong.'

Quote #324 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: I lost my fucking DOOM 2 CD. Damn it. Me: Damn dyslexia. I read that as, "I lost my Doom 2 CD fucking." Dalton: It didn't fit Me: What some people will do for sex, eh? Dalton: You have no idea. Spikenard: I have a feeling he does :) Me: Hey, just cause I'm talking dirty with a 15 year old cyber babe doesn't mean I'm desperate for sex.

Quote #325 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: So, which ST woman has the biggest boobies? Me: Hmm, Boobies. Well, I think Seven's are the biggest, but size does not equal quality. Chuck: Well, I think it falls on someone to just make some screen shots so we can do some comparing between them. "Lace: The Final Brassiere" Me: And Chuck, you are that man. Mainly cause I want your wife to catch you so you have to explain it's an official ASVS Project.

Quote #326 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Well, bend me over a barrel and make me squeal like a piggy.

Quote #327 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Paul: It would be a GREAT PRIZE to have me or Elim surrender to the SW camp. Well DREAM ON. Pablo Sanchez: Most of my dreams involve me stuffing you in a sack full of rabid ferrets. Me: Most of my Dreams involve Jennifer Love Hewitt, a candle lit apartment, and a Tub full of Strawberry Yogurt. Hmmm, yogurt.

Quote #328 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Hey, everyone loves porn. Remember the old Proverb, "The Family that watches Porn together will soon appear on Jerry Springer."

Quote #329 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Leia vs. Kira Raven Ford: Which do you think would win in a fight? Me: That would depend if they're fighting in mud or hot oil.

Quote #330 -- C.S.Strowbridge

And I can declare myself a Norse God of Sex, does it make it true? NO.

Quote #331 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Your chance of success depends on your goal. Get in the top ten? Not too hard since there are only about 30 to 40 regular posters here during the month. Dethrone Dalton? You have a better chance of Seven, Kira and Dax bursting into your room and having their way with you. And while that image is firmly in your mind ... JANEWAY NAKED AND ALL OILED UP!

Quote #332 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Would you rather have Janeway wearing leather carrying a whip? "Come over here my little ensign of love. Mommy will make it all better."

Quote #333 -- C.S.Strowbridge

So you prefer baseless possibilities over required evidence? How SB of you. Here's some more possibilities, I dare you to find evidence that counters them: -- Han Solo is immortal. We've never seen him die, ergo he never will. -- SW humans are actually 20 ft tall, and everything is scaled to that size. -- Turbolasers can vaporize whole planets with a single shot. But every time we see them shot they were on a low power setting. -- Gillian Anderson is waiting in my bed with a '53 Bordeaux. [Note: I remember spending more than 10 minutes looking up a good wine just for this post. I need help.]

Quote #334 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: You know, I must now share my disgust with this group as a whole. I know we all like to joke around, but the obsession with Jeri Ryan's tits is getting way way out of hand. The strict focus on them is really quite inappropriate, so to curb this I will make the following observation: Jeri Ryan has a nice ass. I think I've made my point. You may go about your business now. Dalton: *casts head down in shame* You're right. It IS a nice ass. Me: Now that you have that picture in your collective minds, whatever you do don't think about: JANEWAY NAKED! If you do your libido will go into reverse so fast your testicles will shoot back into your body. Ryan Spikenard: Thanks a lot, ass-monkey... Me: I'm just here to spread the joy.

Quote #335 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I think the biggest difference between childbirth and getting your nuts kicked in is frequency. How many times does the average woman give birth? 2 or 3 times in their whole life. How many times does the average man have his happy sack smacked? Way too many times. And not just the obvious 'man being hit in the groin with a football' but improperly fitting underwear can cause no end of discomfort. Your sitting in a meeting and you shift in your seat and suddenly your wedding tackle's caught up in your briefs. Just try explaining that to a woman. "Excuse me, I have to adjust Big Jim and the Twins."

Quote #336 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Launching our excess trolls over to SB! What a great tactic. I can just see it now ... General: Captain, are the catapults loaded? Captain: Yes Sir! General: Fire at will! Captain: Which one's ... General: Finish that sentence and you'll be the next one on the catapult. Captain: Yes sir. All right men, read ... Aim ... Fire! As the troll sales to the sheltered existence of SB ... Boner: Which of of you guys is the biggest lo ... <SQUESH!> Captain: A little to the right. And ... Fire! Firebrunt: Me and my army of qualified experts will dest ... <SCHPLAT!> Captain: Almost there. Fire! Cock Rocket: I own this newsgroup! I'm a master hacker! Look at me! Oh please god look at meeeeeee ... Captain: It's away! Direct hit. Cheers erupt from the men. General: Good work men. This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of many trolls and it will soon see the end of SB.

Quote #337 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You know, I I have this little dream where TOWNMNBS is actually back, but he's in everyone's KF so we never realize it. TOWNMNBS: A *single8 photon torpedo launched at warp speeds could *categrically8 destroy any Star Wars vessel, and I include the DS in that. NG: ... TOWNMNBS: Well, since no one complained I guess you all agree! NG: ... TOWNMNBS: Hello? Is anyone there? NG: ... TOWNMNBS: Come on guys, speak to me. I'll even let you use Ass Homymens.

Quote #338 -- C.S.Strowbridge

PREDATOR: 20 years later an elite Ferrengi commando team steals an Imperial warship and loads a genesis device they bought off the Federation onto it. Grand Nagus Quark watches from afar on ferenginar 2 and laughs as he sees coruscants every atom realigned into a brand new planet, sentient population, zero! Muhahahahaha! Me: And shortly after that C.S.Strowbridge (Who decided to live in the SW universe) would shit out 3 new Death Stars and Buffet complete with those little sausages. After all, it's just as likely as your scenario.

Quote #339 -- C.S.Strowbridge

[How the warp core works] Step #1.) The plasma gets energized by the warp core. Step #2.) It then travels to where ever the energy is needed. Step #3.) It blows up the panel and kills a random ensign, using up energy. Step #4.) It returns to the warp core in a less energized form. Step #5.) See Step #1.

Quote #340 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On a side note: My Spell checker just gave me 'sissy' as an alternative for Sisko.

Quote #341 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: "likely" "Let's Say" "Say" "lets say" - Again. "Say" - Again, as well. Could you please pull more numbers out of your ass. Deimos: Talk about a typical Strowbridge Reply. Dalton: Strow has a point, doesn't he. Admit it. Not Me: And if he doesn't admit it, I will. Strowbridge has a good point. In fact, I think Strowbridge always has a good point. Strowbridge is a genius. A beacon of hope in a wasteland of mouth breathers and dung-flingers. He like a God among mortal men. He may be one of the greatest men alive ... NO! He IS the GREATEST BEING WHO HAVE EVER WALKED ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PLANET! Definitely NOT C.S.Strowbridge Me: Gee, I didn't know you guys liked me so much. I'm blushing.

Quote #342 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: It would have to be considering how close the planet MUST have been and how small the planet appeared in the sky. Dalton: Anybody note the color of the star? Me: Bright? Dalton: No, no, not luminance, fucker. Go back to fingerpainting. Me: <Elim Mode> Finger painting isn't my strong suit, but. I'm pretty sure Bright is one of the primary colours. The others being Dull and Paisley. AND YOU'LL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE! </Elim Mode>

Quote #343 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'm not a jerk, I am an Asshole!

Quote #344 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Unknown Poster: but the death star cant go at hytperspeed Me: Huh? What ass did you pull this information out of?

Quote #345 -- C.S.Strowbridge

So you actually think puns are witty? What the hell is wrong with you?

Quote #346 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: BTW, always questions Elim's claims, he's a lying sack of shit. Dalton: REALLY?!? Me: Just call me Captain Obvious!

Quote #347 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: I could REALLY make fun of your home province and the people who live there, but in the spirit of national unity I won't make fun of either of you. Graeme Dice: What about Saskatchewan? Me: There's nothing wrong with Saskatchewan. I am sure everyone who lives there is great. All three of you guys. Graeme: There's a million of us here. Me: Really? Seriously, I thought there was only about 700,000. Graeme: It's gone up a bit again in the last few years. Me: Wow, at this rate you'll have the same population densities as Hong Kong in less than 12 million years. [BC vs. Saskatchewan] Me: This has got to be the lamest rivalry ever.

Quote #348 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Nothing boosts an Ego quite as fast as watching really bad TV and making fun of it.

Quote #349 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Deimos Anomaly: Deimos: Pro-Sheppard Ryan Spikenard: So how much does a pro sheppard make these days anyway? ;) Me: Barely enough to cover the cost of condoms.

Quote #351 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Never say, "What did I miss?" Predators gone to lurk mode, Eframe and Mantrid left, so did Elim but he claims he'll be back, Boyd had a sex change and married Kynes as a joke, we had a brief visit from the Pope, Admiral Peitt and Elvis, Lord Edam won the lottery but blew all the money on hats, Armageddon begun and destroy most of NYC but no one noticed and I'm having a torrid love affair with the original cast of "Rent." Nothing much really. Dalton: Anything interesting happen? Me: According to a VERY reputable troll I have the largest penis. Wee Mad Ando: Anyone care to fill me in on whats gone down in the past two months? Me: It turns out we are all dead and this is hell. No one was that surprised.

Quote #352 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Paul: Daltonism (part two): A persons who doesn't have a great vocubulary. Chuck: Vocubulary? Isn't that a musical instrument? Me: No, no, no. It's a strange condition of the pituitary glands. Had it in grade 6.

Quote #353 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Pablo Sanchez: I'm sure everyone has noticed the newest troll, Cock Rocket. I've been noticing some things in his posts, and I'd like to ask you all a question. Is Cock Rocket gay? Me: Latent. Right now he is in the process of trying to prove to himself that he is not gay. Over compensating by acting completely macho. In a while, after he accepts his sexual preference, he will calm down and may even become a productive member of the online community. And I might start shitting bricks of solid gold.

Quote #354 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Random Moron #1: Bah. Random Moron #2: Baah. Random Moron #3: Baaaaa. Random Moron #4: You missed the h. Me: Every month the Sad Git of the Month brings to this newsgroup the most intelligent of discussions.

Quote #355 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: It's my spell checkers fault. The Chimaera: Your checker changed it to that? So what is a "Spikenard" then? Crayz9000 wrote: Webster's New World Dictionary: spikenard n. An ear of grain. (see SPIKE) 1. A fragrant ointment used in ancient times. 2. an Asiatic plant of the valerian family that yielded this ointment. 3. A perennial N. American plant of the ginseng family, with whitish flowers, purplosh berries, and fragrant roots. Me: There you go. You learn something new every day. Hopefully tomorrow we'll learn something useful.

Quote #356 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: You're telling Kynes he needs to stand out more? That's like telling Dalton he needs to post more. Or telling me I need to gain weight. 'C.S., your skin and bones. Mange!'

Quote #357 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: http://www.iol.co.za/html/frame_news.php?click_id=31&art_id=qw971424780828B252&test= "OH MY GOD! That sheep has a match!" "Baaaah BOOOM!"

Quote #358 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Stupidest plan in the history of ASVS: http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&safe=off&th=4327516e7b712f17,20&ic=1 (Editors Note: May be over taken by the Shit Bombs, also by Deimos.)

Quote #359 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyda: Honest question; who really gives a shit? Me: I give a shit, at least twice a day. More if I've been eating spicy foods. Rob Wilson: Who do you give it to, and why ? Me: The Porcelain God, of course.

Quote #360 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: It deserves a home in the FUQ! Dalton: Good idea. Let me debate whether to put it in the FUQ or the Archive. What do you think? Me: Hmm, let's see. I said, "It deserves a home in the FUQ!" I know that's a tricky code to decipher, but I sure you'll crack it before Arbor Day.

Quote #361 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: I am invincible. Me: Hey, Mr. Invincible, Kynes is beating you right now. I guess that would make you Mr. Vincible. Dalton: Heh. His reign shall not last for long. For I intend to reply to all of Baron's posts. Me: Oh great. That will be a pillar of On Topics posts and meaningful conversation.

Quote #362 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Phong Nguyen: Well, I'm back for a few days. WTF? 2198 messages in less than a week? Me: And those are just the ones Dalton posted!

Quote #363 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Baron Kenneth von Lowe: At the height of my posting career, I would have beaten all of those easily. Me: I don't know man. Dalton's averaging nearly 40 posts a day. I don't think you could have kept that up all month long. Jonothan Boyd: There was time when I could average close to 35 posts a day. It never lasted though. I'm not sure how Dalton does it. i reckon he's got a monkey typing away for him all day. Me: Nah, not a monkey. Some less ... oh what's the word ... intelligent.

Quote #364 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: As the Pegasus ep proves (Name? forgot it) Me: "The Pegasus" Now don't you feel like a schmuck? :)

Quote #365 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Anyway, I doubt I'll be posting anything (or at least, anything useful) Me: We'll just call you Dalton then. (Joke)

Quote #366 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Bah. Me: Starting to pad this months total? I guess your scared! Ryan Spikenard: Maybe he should be. Me: Yeah, he only 'won' by 26 posts. Ryan: Are you mocking the dubious honour of being a Sad Git winner? Me: Well, let me put it this way ... Duh!

Quote #367 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Of course, how could I be so stupid Me: Do you want a detailed list of reasons, or just a quick over view.

Quote #368 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Kynes: I just realized something. The FUQ is an official entity, as it was created by official mandate. Though its maintainer doesn't sit on the Council, does he, too, face periodic re-election? Me: No, the FUQ Maintainers, also known as The Supreme Lord of Unasked Trivia (SLUT for short) has no powers, official or otherwise. So there is no need to hold regular elections. Or pay any attention to him.

Quote #369 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Hey, damn it, I acutally serve a useful purpose! Me: Yeah, you make us look better by comparison!

Quote #370 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Elim: The only modification that I foresee is the addition of more rules, which will only worsen the situation. Me: So there's no room in that tiny brain of your for suggesting a rule be removed? Elim: Hmm. Never occurred to me.

Quote #371 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Elim: Yes, I figured it out. It is just my basic defense mechanism - I pretend to misunderstand the insult. Me: I doubt that, it's MUCH more likely that your stupidity is 100% genuine.

Quote #372 -- C.S.Strowbridge

By bringing up these points we hope to accomplish two goals: 1.) Teach you to do research BEFORE you speak, or not speak at all. 2.) Make fun of you cause you are quite stupid but have a HUGE ego. A combination that creates near endless amounts of fun.

Quote #373 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Elim: I don't care who ASVS Master is. I care who has control over my votes. Me: And that would be the ASVS Master.

Quote #374 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Ever seen the world through the eyes of a retard? Me: Of course he has! Elim: Yep, I read the book. You I suspect haven't. Me: You truly are a world class idiot.

Quote #375 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Wayne Poe: ST:5 Your average SF captain can't even deal with a simple textbook hostage scenerio. In terms of diplomancy nor tactically. Elim: What are you babbling about? He dealt with it just fine, except that the hostages took him hostage! Me: Man, that's worthy of a sig!

Quote #376 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Iceberg3k: I prefer the more technical term "lying sack of rat shit" when speaking of our dear friend Elim. Me: Some of his lies were so obvious they were funny. ('Maybe I forgot I had a bad memory!')

Quote #377 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Nobody Home (Me): Saw this while organizing the Sad Git of the Month Award. Fucking massacre. Elim Garak: ? Who the hell are you? Matthew Hyde: Someone who knows more than you? Me: Gee, that could be anyone.

Quote #378 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: What about it? Borg don't need to breathe, do they? Elim: Their cells do. Some of them. Should need. Theoretically. Me: This has GOT to be a joke. Could you give us some evidence? You know. From. The show.

Quote #380 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Big Steve: Actually, Mike, believe it or not IXJac is a warsie. Me: I thought he was a Fiver. I believe he admitted to NOT having enough knowledge of either SW or ST. Dalton: So what the hell does he think he's doing here? Me: Wasting our time.

Quote #381 -- C.S.Strowbridge, to Lord Edam

So, in conclusion: 1.) You are wrong, but you should be used to that. 2.) Do some research next time you make a claim. 3.) I am better than you in nearly every conceivable way.

Quote #382 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Did you take AMRE into effect? Lord Edam: Are you feeling alright? You didn't manage to work in a single "fuck you" or "die you miserable worm" into that post. Me: Hey, I only tell you to fuck off when you act like a troll. If you want I'll do it more often. Lord Edam: I'm sure you'll manage it by your resposne though, so I'll just ignroe that when you do. Me: Fuck you and die you miserable worm, you can't even spell ignore right.

Quote #383 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Lord Edam: I refer the honourable member to my previous response. Me: And I refer the fucking troll to my middle finger.

Quote #384 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Lord Edam: Thanks to Paul for reminding me of this... TLs. Have a lot of energy. But they lose this energy as they travel through space. small(light) TLs have less energy than large (heavy) TLs but, small TLs are smaller than large TLs. Since loss of energy in space is governed by the size of the object, small Tls will lose less energy than large TLs so small TLs have longer range than large TLs. everyone agree? Me: Fuck no. Lord Edam: You've got until thursday to chuck up any objections. Me: Yeah, here's a couple. 1.) You are a fucking retard. 2.) Smaller TLs lose less energy BUT they also start with less energy. 3.) Fucking retard. 4.) Do the fucking math to figure out how long it would take for each size to dissipate. 5.) FUCKING RETARD 6.) A TL Bolts have energy based on it's volume, but energy lose based on it's surface area. 7.) FFFFF U U CCCC K K III N N GGGG F U U C C K K I NN N G FFF U U C KK I N N N G GGG F U U C C K K I N NN G G F UUU CCCC K K III N N GGGG RRRR EEEE TTTTT A RRRR DDDD R R E T A A R R D D RRRR EEE T A A RRRR D D R R E T AAAAA R R D D R R EEEE T A A R R DDDD

Quote #387 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Paul: Voyager's screw up it the proof. Me: GRAMMAR! You must learn grammar.

Quote #388 -- C.S.Strowbridge

So you're looking for a few ways to impress the chicks, eh? Here's a few that have never fail to get a response for me. 1.) Ask her, "Could you use an extra 50 bucks?" 2.) Strip will lip-synching Barry White songs. 3.) Get drunk and say whatever pops into your head. When you start to projectile vomit try and aim away from her. 4.) Speak in a foreign language. If you don't know any make one up. 5.) Lie about your physical attributes and subtle slip them into your day to day conversations. Example: Her: Nice weather we're having. You: Did you know I have a 12 inch dick?

Quote #400 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Colin Brian Witz: It's cramming for 'Sad Git' status. only a few hours left to get your December posts in........ Me: And you'll notice my posting is actually down. No post padding for me. Me: Nope, wont see me padding my posting totals. Me: No Post Padding Strowbridge, that's me. Me: No sir, I won't pad my posts for anything in the world. Me: Yep, every post I make is vital the the well-being of this NG. Me: Not only the well-being of this NG but, dare I say it? Me: YES! Dare! Dare! Me: Every post is important to the well-being of the WORLD! Me: Sorry, that was the last post for that little tirade. Me: Actually, now that I think about it, that last message was also part of the tirade. So THIS will be the last message, you have my word. Me: Well, in the words of the late Jason Robards as Max Dugan, 'My word ain't worth squat.'

Quote #401 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Looking for a little advice from you guys who know waaaaay more than me. If I wanted a handgun that was a seriously powerful weapon, I mean really friggin' powerful, and cost wasn't a factor, what would be good? Me: Neighbour's dog shitting on your lawn again?

Quote #402 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Oh yeah, there's a good policy. Science by popular opinion.

Quote #403 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You've played so many semantic games that you're reading extra meanings into what we say.

Quote #404 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I think there are quite a few differences between SB and ASVS. 1.) For instance, their 'rules' ignore the importance of evidence. 2.) If person A lies about the evidence and person B flames them for it, person B is in trouble. 3.) Etc.

Quote #406 -- C.S.Strowbridge

It's got Kevin Costner, and Thirteen Days isn't the name of the movie, it's how long it is. (Rim shot)

Quote #407 -- Rob Dalton

Paradox: thats almost fuqable :) Dalton: Unfortunately, I have to be more picky now :) Me: Let me guess, too much me? I'll try to be less witty from now on. Dalton: You do that and I'm out of business.

Quote #410 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: I OWN THIS NG! Me: Nope, this isn't Cock Rocket but me, C.S.Strowbridge. ASVS Master and acting ASVS Whip till Chuck gets back. I'm also acting R&R Maintainer till Kynes gets back, or we elect someone new. Wow, with all this power I could alter the future of ASVS forever. And if anyone believes that I have some swamp land in Florida you might be interested in.

Quote #411 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On a related note: The Committee has unanimously decided that Aron must change his last name to something easier to spell. Smith perhaps, or Frizzlesnitchhassen.

Quote #412 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You know what I just realized? As the entire membership of The Committee, according to ASVS R&R: The Committee - The Committee and KF, I can unanimously declare all of you "too abusive to deal with" and place you in my KF. Since you are all in my KF no votes can count, not suggestions can be made. I have effectively become a dictator of ASVS.

Quote #415 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Hey, watch it buddy. My power is unlimitless!

Quote #416 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Deimos and his huge pulsating paranoia: Deimos Anomaly: Find a zipper. Any zipper. Trousers, pants, jacket, pencil case, wallet (billfold, Yanks), or whatever. Chances are the letters "YKK" will be written on the handle of the zipper. Over 90% of zippers have this mysterious mark. Some devious organisation is up to something... Me: Yep, and that devious Organization is, Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha! [Editors Note: Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha is a Japanese company that makes 90% of the worlds zippers. Huge conspiracy.]

Quote #417 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Your not quite up-to-date guide to all the happenings in ASVS. http://www.sfdebris.com/news/asvsnews.html Me: Couple of Point: 1.) My official title is Dicktator for Life. 2.) In the story about Graeme you should probably point out that a person needs to stop posting when they leave ASVS. Something Graeme hasn't quite got the hang of.

Quote #418 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Bow before the awesome might of my mighty might.

Quote #420 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Puppeteer: Tell me again Strowbridge, why this group wanted you back. Me: You'd have to ask them. Puppeteer: No. I want to hear what you think. Me: Couple of reasons: 1.) I'm the best ASVS Master they ever had. I can deal with more shit than anyone here. 2.) I'm a good debater. In fact, I've been called the best by the Baron. But that was before I ripped him a new one in the Borg debate. :) 3.) I have a very large penis.

Quote #422 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Just cause I'm better than you, and not afraid to act that way, is no reason to hate me.

Quote #423 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Stuart Mackey: lol.Who said any thing about interns? afterter all Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman as he understood the term to be. you belive him right?? lol Moen: Most sexually experienced teenagers nowadays seem to think that oral sex is not, in fact, sex. So I guess Clinton was right after all. Me: Most teenagers think The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync and real bands.

Quote #424 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I wish I was a child again. Instead of just dating one.

Quote #425 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Oh boy, this is going to turn nasty, FAST. Moen: Young lad... Have you ever pointed a weapon at someone and thought about the consequences if you pull the trigger? Me: No, but the person you are debating with has. And then he pulled the trigger.

Quote #428 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Re: Culture vs. SW d00msday: I was forced to do it! Anyway, we know who wins! :) Try debating your way out of this one, Warsies! krasnaya: What a troll you are. OK, the Culture wins. Happy? But this is ASVS, not alt.starwars.vs.everyotherscifithattrollscanbringin d00msday: Troll? Hahaha-no, not funny. Shut up. Your hobbies probably include masturbating to gay porn featuring Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, with guest appearances by Chewbacca and Yoda. Me: Lets see, you've been here 3 days and you've brought up Off-Topic Empires, Masturbation, gay Porn, etc. But no, you're not a troll. I believe you. Then again, I believe if I concentrate I can shit out gold bricks.

Quote #429 -- C.S.Strowbridge

This is what Stuart should do: 1.) Get drunk. 2.) No, I mean REALLY drunk. 3.) Call her at 3:00 am. 4.) Tell he your inner most feeling, or whatever you can mumble in your drunken stupor. 5.) Try and sing her a ballad. 6.) No, 'Bad to the Bone' is NOT a ballad. 7.) 'I'm Too Sexy' ?!?! Close enough. 8.) Get ready for the wild nights of sex with the woman of your dreams!* * - Note: This only works if the woman of your dreams is inflatable.

Quote #430 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyda: What sort of recreational activity do you use pipe bombs for anyway? Me: Blowing up the pretty girls who refused to date your pimpled ass.

Quote #431 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Fishing with Dynamite is a fun and relaxing hobby.

Quote #432 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: That should be Essay, not Easy. Me: Screw you and your use of proper English.

Quote #433 -- C.S.Strowbridge

BTW, nobody got seriously hurt, IN FLORIDA! A place where parking disputes are solved with automatic gun fire.

Quote #434 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Kynes: I'll grant that some types of games require complex interfaces. SE4 is an example which springs immediately to mind. Me: And those are the ones I like. Big, complex monstrosities that cause first time players to break down and cry.

Quote #435 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Lord Edam: Isn't it amazing what a few gentle prods do to some people? Durandal: Do you ENJOY other people's humiliation and misery? Me: Yes, cause he's a troll. He even admitted it.

Quote #436 -- C.S.Strowbridge

DMZ: You're saying that as long as a common ground for comparison is agreed upon, the actual method does not matter? What happens when one side tries to "change the rules?" Me: One of three things happen: 1.) They ask for a vote and it succeeds. Now we have a new set of rules that the majority have agreed to. Still no problem. 2.) They ask for a vote and it fails. Nothing changes, majority are still happy. 3.) They know if they ask for a vote it will fail so they bitch and complain. Usually resort to accusations of bias.

Quote #437 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: LORD OF THE RINGS. The single best movie of the year baby! Me: Better than Baby Geniuses 2? http://us.imdb.com/Title?0270846 Dalton: Oh God no. NO! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Me: Time to get a gun and visit Hollywood.

Quote #438 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Robert Healey: IMDB is your friend.... Me: It's more than that, it's my home page. I spend more time on IMDB then I do watching movies.

Quote #439 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Durandal: Star Trek is about as based on real science as my dick is on a vagina. Graeme Dice: Well you see Durandul, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much... Me: In other words, you take some real science, fuck it over, and in the end you get Star Trek.

Quote #440 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Rob Wilson: Are you trying to imply that the VG-turned-movies named above had a plot?! Me: Yeah, the same way porn has a plot. Robe Wilson: Hehehe...Isn't that why we watch it? Me: That and the acting of course. Rob Wilson: Well of course, what other possible reasons could there be? Me: Alicia Witt watched porno for the laughs. It's the only reason I'd pay for the stuff. Dalton: KEY WORD: pay Me: How else are you going to get it? Oh yeah, download it from the internet. But that would waste bandwidth better used for other purposes. What those purposes are is beyond me.

Quote #441 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Anyone here addicted to more than ASVS. Currently I'm badly a Sims addictions, and losing quite badly I might add. Ryan Spikenard: Ummm...right now just sex and asvs Me: In other words, typing one handed while discussing Janeway.

Quote #442 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Re: (OT)What do you guys think of Eminem? Chuck: I like the peanut butter ones best. Me: Those rocked. Not as good as peanut butter cups. Which are the food of the gods. Think about it, you have Salty, Fatty and Sweet. And it something carbonated and you have the four basic food groups.

Quote #443 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Just to give you a word of advice, if you are pissing Alves off you are doing something right.

Quote #444 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Is there something inherently hypocritical in copyrighting a book of famous quotations? Me: You can only copyright the original work in the book. Comments, format, type set, etc. Not the quotes themselves. Let me guess, I just let my logic ruin a perfectly good joke.

Quote #445 -- C.S.Strowbridge, on Chuck's cousin's marriage

Hey Chuck, say congratulations to him. Or my condolences. Whichever is funnier.

Quote #446 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'm cheering for global warming. The ice caps will melt, half of Florida sinks into the ocean (which can only be a good thing) and the northern ports in Canada and Russia will be accessible all year round. I see no down side.

Quote #447 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Wayne Poe's Sig: "I tend to mentall yprepare myself for the worst case scenario in arguments," - Jonathan Boyd Boyd: Lol, I'm responsible for half your sigs, arent I? I should start proof rading some day. Poe: There's another one! Boyd: I can't believe I did that. If I'd typed it today, I'd at least be able to claim fatigue, but that... That was just plain dumb, lol :^) Me: Boyd, Boyd, Boyd. This was a perfect time to claim it was a joke. Intentional mistake as a source of humor. In fact, I noticed it right away and assumed you did it on purpose. Boyd: But that would have been a lie. Me: Would it be impolite to call you a wuss at this time?

Quote #448 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton has complete dictatorial control over the FUQ. Don't like it, you have three choices: 1.) Cry in your beer. 2.) Appeal to his sense of decency to Ok, I couldn't even keep a straight face. 3.) Start another FUQ. If yours if better we might switch to yours.

Quote #450 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Gee, another source that agrees with us. With all this evidence you'd think we're right.

Quote #452 -- C.S.Strowbridge

If you have any questions I'll be happy to explain using smaller words, many of them containing exactly four letters.

Quote #453 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Raven: I really am a nudist at heart. I enjoy prancing around my bedroom in nothing but socks and a hat. Me: You think we're gullible enough to believe that. I want proof. Photographic proof. Maybe a short video? Please?

Quote #454 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Does anyone else think Strowbridge and the Seaman Shenanigans is a great name for a band?

Quote #455 -- C.S.Strowbridge, about Julius Harper

Three things could happen: 1.) He could just leave. 2.) He could be convinced by our arguments. 3.) He could fly into an anti science rage, which would be most entertaining.

Quote #456 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Why do you have to send it to him? Don't you play on the same computer? Me: Not anymore, he got his computer up and 'running' months ago. He has the occasional constant nightmare keeping everything at 100%, but at least he's able to download porn.

Quote #459 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'll remind you all again to E-MAIL YOUR VOTE TO ME! If you don't follow this simple rule your vote doesn't count. Got it? If I see a vote in the NG I do one of two things: 1.) Laugh. 2.) Sigh a resigned sigh, knowing that I'm surrounded by morons. I do NOT, however, enter that vote in the records.

Quote #460 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Guardian 2000: Though you and a few other ASVS denizens believe the contrary, insults do not win arguments. Me: He made a joke. You took it seriously. He's insulting you. The argument ended 7 posts ago.

Quote #462 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyda: I believe Transcend's problem is that he fears his own mortality, and he's desperately seeking an alternative to death. Transcend: Actually I have been close to death so many times that I have come to think of myself as having a relationship with it, I don't fuck with death and death don't fuck with me. I am sure as hell not scared of death, for I have looked it in the face, said "Boo!", and watched it run away like a scared little girl..... Me: Would it be impolite at this point in the conversation to mention medication?

Quote #463 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On the human mind: We're not just a bunch of neurons firing. We're also a complex dance of hormones. The ebb and flow of chemical reactions so complex that modern science is no closer to understanding them then modern man is to understanding modern women.

Quote #464 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Transcend: I guess this comes down to difference of opinion (mine is correct though) Dalton: Was that a joke? If not, then I hereby declare that statement the single most arrogant sentence I've read all month. Me: Damn, I thought I'd always win that award.

Quote #465 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You know, when I take my rightful place as supreme ruler of Earth I'll make this kind of shit a capital crime.

Quote #466 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Deimos Anomaly: Huge vessels abound in sci-fi, often several kilometers in length as opposed to the few hudred meters common to our real-life ocean going vessels. But there is a ship gonna be built, that will be a mile long (as long as an ISD). Some of you may already have heard of it, in talkshow interviews or newspapers, but if you haven't, go here: http://www.freedomship.com/ Me: This project is even farther away than the Moller. Jeri Ryan will be whispering sweet nothings in my ear before that thing set sail.

Quote #467 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Transcend: I have papers proving I'm sane, alittle eccentric, but sane. Me: The fact that you need papers says so much.

Quote #468 -- C.S.Strowbridge

When I'm supreme ruler of Earth I'll make it illegal to claim to have psychic powers and NOT be tested by JREF.

Quote #470 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On Google Usenet Archive: Me: Rock on! The gods of useless debates have surely smiled upon us mortals. Aron: And somewhere Timothy Jones says, "Shit." Me: I doubt it. I bet he's firmly convinced that if you read his old posts they will prove he was right. The man's got an ego almost as large as mine.

Quote #471 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Quite a large gap between updates. Chuck: Well, I've got a good excuse. I'm lazy. Me: I now the feeling. In fact, I'm too lazy to finish this sente

Quote #472 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I was reading some of my old posts I have archived and I couldn't believe how much of an asshole I can be.

Quote #474 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Raven: A girl can look at a girl not be a lesbian, Me: That's right. Checking out another chick doesn't make a woman a lesbian. Turning me down for a date makes them a lesbian. Bloody lesbians, they're everywhere.

Quote #475 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Transcend: Just because the majority agree with something doesn't mean they are correct. Kynes: POP QUIZ: Who was the last debater to refuse to accept the "Tyranny of the majority?" Me: Ouch, that's a low blow. Not without merit, but still ... ouch.

Quote #476 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The Travel Friend: Subject: Travel Advisory- Namibia Dalton: FEEL THE KNOWLEDGE!! The Travel Friend: LOOKING FOR A FUN AND EDUCATIONAL FAMILY VACATION? STEP THIS WAY Children bring a fresh perspective to hiking. Me: And if you get lost you can eat them.

Quote #477 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The Travel Friend: Namibia - Consular Information Sheet February 13, 2001 Me: Is it just me, or is this not as off topic as the stuff we regularly get from our debaters?

Quote #479 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On why Transcend likes cats: Cats are magical psychic animals that can upload themselves into computers.

Quote #480 -- C.S.Strowbridge

[Editors Note: This is like the battle of the Titans. The Two biggest morons on our NG going at it. We, and by we I mean you, might want to catelogue it for the ages. Also, it's sad to note that even against such an easy foe Transcend still manages to lose.] Transcend: You kill a cat I'll *have* to find a way to hunt you down and kill you slowly in RL. Just on principle you understand nothing personal. Deimos Anomaly: Look you fuck, it's trying to rip the birdnest out of there and kill them all. The end legitimizes the means in this case. Transcend: The birds are a lower life form then the cat (hell birds didn't even evolve bladder or bowel control), the cat is certainly more intelligent, and the birds are prey animals. The birds may be pretty to look at but the cat is a far more noble animal. A cat killing a bird is one thing, but a human killing a cat is just sick. At any rate I never said you couldn't run the cat off, or discourage it, just don't kill the beast. They are a noble animal, a savior of at least one civilization (Egyptians were on the verge of starving to death till the cats came and started hunting rats), and quite intelligent. I have found many cats to have been far better then many humans I have known. It is a very bad thing, in my opinion, to kill a cat. Deimos Anomaly: That's all well and good, but it's not as if Ulster is gonna be brought down by four or five birds. Oh what are we gonna do, pray to the gods that they send the cat to save us. The scenario doesn't fit. If some moggy starts trying to eat the birds out of MY nestbox on MY house then I'm gonna deal with it, "evolved animal" or not. The area I live is full of cats anyway. Me: Yes, but cats are magical psychic animals that can upload themselves into computers.

Quote #481 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Alves: No, you can beg all you want. I won't fuck a gorilla. Wayne Poe: Well, YOU'RE no damn fun.... Me: If it makes you feel any better, when the gorilla wants sex Alves won't have a say in the matter.

Quote #482 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Any help will be appreciated. Me: Don't lick road kill. Chuck: Well, any help from people who actually know something. Me: Oh, Ok.

Quote #483 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The Involuntary Human Extinction Movement, also known as total lack of sex appeal. I think several members here are card carrying members of that group.

Quote #484 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On solving the energy crisis: Here's my solution: Everyone who purchases a SUV will be contacted by a representative of the government and asked a series of question: Question #1: Have you ever taken your SUV off road? Even just once? Answer: No Question #2: BLAM! Answer: Ouch. Thud. The representative would then reload and go to the next person.

Quote #485 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Re: [POLI] Mandate 27mpg? Chuck: I prefer this solution over the one we had during the Carter years, when we set 55 mph as the national speed limit. This one will primarily affect SUV purchasers and customers rather than everyone. Me: I think we should combine the solutions and mandate a 27 mph national speed limit. There are two main reasons to use my plan: 1.) It would piss off Americans. 2.) Ha ha ha.

Quote #486 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Agreed...now Graeme, where's the turn, eh? Graeme Dice: I have this thing I do everyday, it's called a "job". Me: Is that part of 'real life?' I make it a point to avoid all contact with that most evil of entities.

Quote #487 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Tim Horton's. Great donuts. Great hockey player too. Graeme Dice: Robin's Donuts makes better donuts than Tim Horton's. Me: BLASPHEMER! Dice: INFIDEL! Me: HEATHEN!! [Editor's Note: In Canada we take our dounts seriously. Hmmm, donuts.]

Quote #489 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Beeblebear: YES!!! I got into the FUQ! *Does a little jig* Me: Don't get too excited. I make up a proportionally large percent of the FUQ. I'd have more in there but Dalton's jealous of my obvious sex appeal. [Am not. Manwhore. --Ed]

Quote #490 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On TGOD Culture: "Barking Mad" MKSheppard: Also, note what he says to the Reporter about my personality, etc. You people are so stupid that you don't seem to understand that this was OBVIOUSLY a frame by Pablo. Kynes: Is anyone else worried that Ryan seems to think that TGOD is real? Me: The first time I didn't even read past my name. ... Damn, that is scary. He also doesn't seem to understand in a TGOD, when you want to blow the shit out of someone you use ANY excuse to do it. No matter how flimsy: Sir, we've received a message from MKSheppard. It reads as follows, "I have a confession to make. I was the second gunman, I shot JFK. I also shot Abe Lincoln. And I shot the sheriff, but I did not shot the deputy. I framed Roger Rabbit. I wrote the book of love. I'm looking over a four leaf clover. And I'd do it all again. Love, Shepard." Do you think it's real? Well, Sheppard is spelt with two P's. But what the hell, let's retaliate anyway. And with that hundreds of bombers were order into the sky. Moments later the skies above MKSheppard's not so secret bunker were filled with nukes, hundreds of furbies, 150 pounds of human excrement (or as his parents called him, Anton Polinger), reams of pornography with all the naughty bits blacked out, and at least one 30 year old christmas fruit cake. The devastation was total and without survivors (except for the fruit cake which remained unharmed.)

Quote #491 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I've met some Tolkien fans that make the regulars for the SGotM look normal.

Quote #493 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyda: clothes suck! Nudity is better! Phong Nguyen: Not always, young fool. Crayz9000: I just got this disturbing picture of a very massive naked woman. Me: Must ... Resist ... Urge ... Oh screw it. That's Dalton you fool!

Quote #494 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I should have a section in the FUQ all to myself. So people can come in and see the horror I had to put up with. They could read for a bit and say to themselves, "Boy, that C.S.Strowbridge sure was a patient man. Not only that, but he was a wise man. A sexy man. A king among men! THE GREATEST LIVING EXAMPLE OF HUMANITY! I WILL WORSHIP HIS GRAVEN IMAGE AND PRAY THAT ONE DAY I MIGHT BE WORTHY TO LICK THE GROUND HE WALKS UPON!" But of course they never will.

Quote #495 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Nagilum: Why is it always ASVS that starts flaming SB visitors, Me: Don't feel so special, we flame everyone. We will also debate with SB visitors. Although rarely for very long, cause one insult and they lose all train of thought. The horrors of having mods, make ya weak and girly!

Quote #497 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Am I the only one who thinks is poetically funny that the good-bye thread lasted longer than the debater's retirement?

Quote #498 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On Kynes vacation in Vegas: Me: I saw him post, is he back or just spending all his time in Vegas on the internet. Dalton: He posted through Google. I think he posts when he gets back to the hotel/house/wherever he crashes at night. Me: I still think he's there surrounded by show girls, casinos, $2.99 prime rib buffets, etc. and all he can think about is, "What am I missing on ASVS."

Quote #499 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Screw you. How's that for a witty comeback?

Quote #500 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: All I do is my duty, and all people ever do is shit on me. Kynes: Man, the Whip disillusionment rate is huge. Me: And the pay sucks. But hey, the chicks dig a man on The Committee.

Quote #501 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Well, speaking of Smurf and fuck, my sister has a Smurf porn story around here somewhere. Ryan Spikenard: ...like any of us believe its your sisters, ha! ;) Me: Hey, I've gotten some e-mail from his sister, and I believe it's hers. Dalton: No, she didn't write it, LOL Me: You sure? She's one twisted woman? Dalton: She's more twisted than that, believe me. She writes Chrono Trigger gay porn. Me: Spikenard, are you reading this. I think we've found your dream girl.

Quote #502 -- C.S.Strowbridge

On the rmored Janeway cameo in ST:X *** Kynes: The worst has happened! http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/art-main.html?2001-06/13/10.30.film Me: Could be worse. Just think, it could be her AND Neelix ... in some steamy sex scenes. *** Kynes: The worst has happened! http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/art-main.html?2001-06/13/10.30.film Chuck: Mulgrew? That's not the worst. You had me thinking Wesley or, God help us, Neelix. Me: Or Wesley and Neelix in some steamy sex scenes? *** Me: Or Wesley and Neelix in some steamy sex scenes? Cmdrwilkens: Yet another thing that simply HAS to be against the law. Me: Wesley & Neelix in a prison orgy scene with Janeway as a butch warden. *** Kynes: Now that she has declined, the worst has happened. And yes, my friends: I mean THE WORST. Wayne Poe: The worst....Anton as the bi-curious Russian navigator? Me: Anton, Wesley, Neelix AND Janeway in some ... ok I'll stop right there. You can put down the weapons. *** On ASVS House: Raven Ford: Have a Kynes/Boyd/Edam love triangle. Or have Kynes and Boyd fall in love with each other. Dalton: Boy am I ever glad I'm left out of these sickass suggestions :) Me: Ok ... Wesley, Neelix, Janeway, Kynes, Boyd and Edam all doing <CLICK!> <CLICK!> <CLICK!> <CLICK!> <= the sound of dozens of people pulling back the hammer of their guns. Never mind. *** Subject: Re: Neelix vs Jar Jar Beeblebear: Naked in a mud pit - to the death... Me: With Janeway making steamy <BLAM!>

Quote #503 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: Just to be safe, I'm hiding my cut glass Batman Forever mugs from McDonald's in the attic. Me: You could give Dave Barry a run for his money. Chuck: That's probably the nicest compliment I've ever gotten. Me: When you get your first book published you can quote me on the back cover: "Chuck Sonnenburg could give Dave Barry a run for his money!" - Some Internet Loser.

Quote #504 -- C.S.Strowbridge

How one off hand comment can start a serious debate on any meaningless topic immaginable: He could be nothing more than a web geek working his part time dream job. He could also be a very important member of the executive board at Paramount that puts him in charge of Star Trek. And I could be involved in a love triangle with Alyson Hannigan and Natalie Portman. Cmdrwilkens: I thought Natalie was in my love triangle? Oh wait she is, that's why you and me are both involved in that large love dodecahedron with Britney Spears Me: Ew, you can have her. Now Christina Aguilera is another story. I'd like to lick her inner thighs. Rob Wilson: Hey, you want little miss Stick insect? Help yourself, here have Lil,Kim as well. I'll take Mya and Pink. Me: I think we're going to have to fight over Mya. Not that I'd kick Lil'Kim or Pink out of bed ...

Quote #505 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Magento(X-mem) vs. Darth Vader Chuck: It's pronounced "Ma-jen-tow" then, right? "Magento: the thorough yet gentle laxative." Dalton: Ewwwww Me: That would be a shitty super power. (Get it? It's a pun!)

Quote #506 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I actively dislike Britney Spheres. I don't find her attractive and her personality seems to be equal parts Ignorance and Bitch.

Quote #507 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Raven: You do know that my father was a sniper in Vietnam, right? And that I'm his baby daughter? Me: So having a dozen or so guys knocking on your door and saying, "You must be Raven's dad. I've come to fuck your daughter." wouldn't go over so well.

Quote #508 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I also think Diminutive Genitalia is an excellent name for a band.

Quote #509 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: [OT] I have returned! I'm back. Most of you are thinking, 'When did he leave?' Well, actually most of you are thinking, 'That Charisma Carpenter has a really nice ass.' And I'd have to agree. But back to more important things, namely me. I recently moved. It was a grueling trek, an amazing journey if you will. And I will describe it here is all it's tedious glory. First step was leaving my room, from there I immediately took a right, past one door and then took a left. The next step was to walk down half a flight a stairs to the front door, BUT I DID NOT GO THROUGH THE DOOR! (Quite the plot twist, eh?) I instead did a 180 and walked down a second half flight of stairs. After a confusing left, right, left in short order I arrived at my destination, my new room. The whole journey lasted about 30 seconds, but seemed like at least twice that while carrying my dresser and trying not to trip over my damn cat.

Quote #510 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Stuart Mackey: or some one and see about getting something other than the computer to occupy your time. Transcend: Nothing as interesting as far as I'm concerned. Me: May I suggest porn? Before I discovered the simple pleasure of porn my life was dull and depressing. Now my life is filled with excitement, joy, hand lotion and Kleenex. Granted I have wrists of an 80 year old, but you take the good with the bad.

Quote #511 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Gave up on social fairy. Raven Ford: Fuck the social fairy. Me: How do I get in on that action? Stuart Mackey: you sure.?. A social fairy sounds like a transvestite with a STD Me: I was thinking more like Julia Roberts in Hook. Julia? Call me. Please!

Quote #512 -- C.S.Strowbridge

The Committee is in full discussion and as soon we will have a decision I will do what ever the fuck I want to do anyway.

Quote #513 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Making ASVS Houses in The Sims: Rob Wilson: Any suggestions for a household to include Wayne. Me: I've seen pictures of Wayne, he pretty much needs a house to himself. Dalton: Agreed ;) Me: I got visions of Stuart Mackenzie from So I Married an Axe Murderer, "Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge mattress."

Quote #514 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: Best Sob Stories: Me: I can top that ... Uhhhh ... I have a really large penis that gives me chronic back problems. Does that count for anything?

Quote #515 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Scientology is actually a Plot Keyword for BE. So I decided to check out other movies with that keyword and found this: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0270557 Dalton: Oh Jesus. Chuck: Jesus has nothing to do with this, I'll tell you that. Me: I can picture Jesus saying, 'Hey man, don't look at me. I had nothing to do with that.'

Quote #516 -- C.S.Strowbridge

If you want to see the full results please send a self addressed stamped envelope to: I Will Hunt You Down and Gut You Like a Fish 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. USA

Quote #517 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Well fuck me. Fuck me long and fuck me hard.

Quote #519 -- C.S.Strowbridge

DMZ: Without wings, should they really be called "flies?" Me: What should we call them? Walks? The real question is what do you call them after you've removed the wings and legs? Cyborg Stan of CyKoLaJx, Inc.: Raisins. Me: I'd hate to eat at your place on April 1st.

Quote #520 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Chuck: My nipples shoot gasoline, bow before them. Up for the one to the fruit salad march! And let's not forget that a bird in the hand is worth an apple a day. Me: Personally, I think any of these would make excellent official mottos for ASVS. And there's least a band name or tow in there somewhere. (Gasoline Nipples?)

Quote #521 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Subject: The only question that matters! Me: Today I awoke with one burning question in my mind, "Is this the end of fusilli Jerry?" That's it. No idea what it means but it must be answered. Or at least explained. Seriously. It's been driving me mad all day. Help.

Quote #522 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: 7.) Add to FAQ: What is humor? [Entry Removed - Ed] Spyda: I think this one should be sent to Deimos twice daily. Me: Put it where he'll see it. Tattoo it on MKSheppard's stomach.

Quote #523 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Wayne Poe: There are many more that support it. Conundrum, Sacrifice of Angels, Tears of the Prophets, Way of the Warrior, In The Flesh, To name a few. Me: I don't remember that episode. Can you give a synopsis? Wayne Poe: "In the Flesh"? Me: No, "To Name a Few." Wayne Poe: You fuck! Me: I guess posting the definition of Joke would be going to far.

Quote #524 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Aren't we just a tad bitchy this evening. What's the matter, some one steal your mascara?

Quote #525 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I'll try not to gloat too much. HA! You can kiss my ass. That's right! Pucker up and place your lips on my hairy ass!

Quote #526 -- C.S.Strowbridge

When we spank the SBers on another thread and they retaliate (as they almost always do) by saying, 'Oh yeah, well let's see the galactic empire beat the culture, ha ha ha !!!!1!!!11!!' (They then begin to furiously masturbate.)

Quote #527 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Barking Mad MKSheppard: Wayne's version of the MTP is designed with ONE PURPOSE IN MIND: Make SW look as good as possible! Dalton: Duh. That's the whole point of the MTP, bright boy. Me: Of course it is. If we wanted to help the Star Trek side we'd argue for the Star Trek side. It's not a hard concept to understand.

Quote #528 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Julius Harper: As far as I know there's nothing on earth 65 million years old. Me: As far as you know? If we based our knowledge only on things you know we'd still be up in the trees flinging feces at each other. ... Now that I think about it that describes ASVS pretty good.

Quote #529 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Hey, me speaks the english as good or gooder then anyone else speak.

Quote #530 -- C.S.Strowbridge

I didn't that it was that complicated of a rule. And if it inspired such a long thread(s) about it it really should have been discussed more in the RFD. In case you don't know this is the rule I'm discussing: 3.) Any force not belonging to Star Trek or Star Wars automatically loses in any versus debate. This includes but is not limited to: The Culture, Transformers, Voltron, Starship Troopers, Real Life Armies, The Legion of Past and Present Porn Stars lead by Long Dong Silvers, Powerpuff Girls, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Mmmm, Buffy), The Tick, An angry Redneck armed only with a 2x4 and a his 3 legged dog, Dr. Who, Terminator, Red Dwarf, Space 1999, Dragonball Z ....] Couple of points: 1.) The fact that this passed as did the similar less strongly worded Off Topic rule should point out a pretty strong message ... OFF TOPIC DEBATES ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. Here, I'll say that again, OFF TOPIC DEBATES ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. 2.) As part of the Nettiquette it coves ALL posts. However, if someone comes up with an interesting off topic debate people might actually ignore this rule. But considering the usually crap we get ("Oh yeah! Well lets see your precious Star Wars beat the Culture.") this seems pretty unlikely. 3.) If someone comes up with a whole series of useless off topic debates this rule should be able to end them quickly and painlessly. AND, hopefully, discourage them from bringing them up again. 4.) OFF TOPIC DEBATES ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. 5.) Despite the prevailing wisdom, most debates here are On Topic, and the off topic debates are SOOOOOoooo off topic as to never once include Star Wars or Star Trek (How could either be involved in say, Creationism vs. Evolution or Cats vs. Dogs, or Republicans vs. Democrats, etc.?) 6.) The examples that have been brought up (Bruce Lee vs. Wesley, TIE vs. The Culture, Red Shirts vs. Dinosaurs, etc.) how often do we see these types of debates? And can you honestly say you want to see more of them? 7.) OFF TOPIC DEBATES ARE NOT FUCKING WELCOME HERE. *** There's a difference between Off Topic Debates and Off Topic Threads. Talking about books, movies, etc. will not be effected in the slightest by the new rule. Neither will 'debates' about popularity, sex appeal, logic, etc. The new rule only applies to the SW vs ST debates, I.E. Military conflicts, who can beat who. You can still talk about how bad Battlefield Earth was, or why George Bush's missile defense plan if flawed, or why Buffy's ass looks so good.

Quote #531 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyda: I can think of a few people that would support implementing a FS, and I can tell you right now that that's what Strowbridge is thinking of doing. Deimos: Yes I'd imagine he is. Because, of course, I stand between him and ASVS-domination. Me: Couple of points: 1.) This is just plain sad. 2.) I'm not trying to get you FSed, although I might KF you cause you no longer seem willing to actually debate Star Wars or Star Trek. 3.) Your actions only strengthen my grip on ASVS, Mwu ha ha, buck buck buck. 4.) NUMBER THREE WAS A JOKE! 5.) I have no power. I just keep track of certain actions in the NG. That's it. 6.) If you are changing your name to avoid my KF it won't work, cause you are not in my KF. 7.) Did I mention this is sad? I did, good.

Quote #532 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Me: Been busy today. 20 message already and it's only 4:40 am. If I keep this up I'll wear out my keyboard by noon. Me: I should point out that the 20 messages didn't include the message I was writing at the time. So that made it 21 messages and this one makes it 22. Of course it's no longer 4:40 am either. Twelve minutes have passed since then making it 4:52. At least according to the clock on the computer which is notoriously in accurate. The VCR says 4:57 and that has Clock Autoset build in so I trust it more. Maybe I should adjust the clock on my computer to match the clock on my VCR. Yep I think I will. ... Wow, that was exciting. Hmmm. .... Guess I should end this post. .... Yep. ... C.S.Strowbridge Note: The preceding post was brought to you by Insomnia. Insomnia, bring you rambling sleep deprived incomprehension since, back then, when the .. you know. Hi there.

Quote #534 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Impostor Chicken and the AVF Rebellion. Now that's a good name for a country band.

Quote #535 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Devastating Effervescence, that sounds like a grunge band from some upscale suburb.

Quote #537 -- C.S.Strowbridge

We're just Glorified Stenographers, which IIRC was an indie band out of Milwaukee in the mid 80s.

Quote #538 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Stuart Mackey: I just saw Pretty Woman again, it is the ultimate chick flick Me: I just saw "Best of Both Worlds" again. It's one of the ultimate chicks with dicks flicks.

Quote #539 -- C.S.Strowbridge

My sperm has more emotional development then some people here.

Quote #542 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dalton: Anybody who gives a shit, raise your hand. Deimos Anomaly: If you don't give a shit, then why did you reply? Me: To point out that, even be your track record, this is amazingly off topic.

Quote #543 -- C.S.Strowbridge

CaptainSheridan: this is Star trek vs Star wars right? So debate! Dalton: READ THE GODDAMN FAQ!!! Cry: I like that welcoming post better than the regular one :P Me: Me too. If you add a, "P.S. Fuck you!" it would be a perfect introduction to ASVS Culture.

Quote #544 -- C.S.Strowbridge

If a member of the Lump Club says he's typing one handed it just means he has a sandwich in the other hand.

Quote #600 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Apparently my roommate broke our ISPs acceptable use policy by uploading twice the maximum monthly limit, in one day. For two weeks straight.

Quote #642 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Is there no room in this PC world we live in for the insensitive jack-ass?

Quote #654 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dynes wrote: > > "Guardian 2000" wrote: > > > > I had heard of binary newsgroups, but did not know people were > > transferring several-dozen-megabyte-movies there, as was claimed. > > Given the arcane term "binaries", I had not, at that point, researched > > the matter, since it conjured up images akin to old Commodore 64 files > > or games. > > LOL! Yeah, so "arcane" -- binary files! We all know that the C64 was the > last piece of equipment to use these mystical encoding schemes of > yesteryear. Today, computer files are just text strings of "SCOOT_SUX" > over and over. True, it's hard to make a program that way but at least > you know you're starting with high-quality materials. I love the way G2K argues that he's not a moron by, and this is the brilliant part, proving he is one.

Quote #658 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Dayton wrote: > That's a new one, using opening credits as evidence. Is that even valid? I don't know? It could explain why it took so long for them to get home. "Damn it, we passed that same nebula last week. And the week before that. In fact, I think we've passed that same nebula every week for seven years now."

Quote #669 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Hey! Just cause you're into S&M doesn't make you gay. That's just an unfair generalization of society's views on anything they consider sexually deviant. Take me for instance, just cause I like to wear silk panties does not mean I'm gay. I wear them for the comfort. I just cause I hang around the docks dancing for sailors doesn't me I'm gay either, I'm just an entertainer.

Quote #673 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Doornail wrote: > > rob.wn5 wrote: > > > My wildest wet dreams are reality, wow. Well that would explain why > > Sarah Michelle Gellar is always fighting Jessica Abla for the right to > > suck my dick. I'd always wondered about that. > > Um...they ARE fighting naked or in skimpy, easily tear-off-able > clothing, aren't they? > > BTW, who do you cheer for? :D A tie!

Quote #686 -- C.S.Strowbridge

A debate is only as good as the insults it generates.

Quote #691 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Todd wrote: > You lost this one Wes. Wes doesn't know the meaning of the word 'lost!' He also doesn't know the meaning of the word, 'Opinion.' Or the word, 'Joke.' Or for that matter, the words, 'Raison', 'Frog' and 'Happy.' In fact, 90% of the dictionary is beyond his grasp.

Quote #715 -- Strowbridge

Dalton wrote: > We gotta stop this. The Cleaners vs Scientology, hmm... Irrational Beliefs vs. Mindless Violence. There's something almost poetic about that.

Quote #774 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Damien Sorresso: http://www.thugg.org/godkills.jpg This is just too funny for me not to send out. Enjoy! C.S.Strowbridge: Great, now every time I masturbate I think of kittens. Thanks a lot.

Quote #783 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Wayne Poe wrote: > I hope GTA 3 is better. It is. The best part is you can play GTA3 so many ways. I spent a couple of hours on Friday playing Taxi. I hear some people are playing heroes, walking around the city looking for mugging and beating up the mugger. Right now I'm trying to not break any traffic laws, assuming you can make a right hand turn at red lights. ... Or left hand turns at red lights. ... Or left hand turns from the right hand lane across four lanes of traffic onto the wrong way of a one way street in a stolen SWAT Van into a police barricade killing a half a dozen cops. Assuming that's legal I'm doing pretty good.

Quote #800 -- C.S.Strowbridge

80 Knight wrote: > I think not! That's the most honest thing you could have said.

Quote #806 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Celes Knight wrote: >>>The common person *likes* the Pledge, *likes* "In God We Trust", >> >>Yeah, and there's a reason why being called 'common' is an insult. > > Would you rather be ruled by elites YES! Cause they're better than the average morons who need warning labels on toothpicks. That's why they're called 'Elites.' I never understood what was so wrong with Elitism. 'Do you want to be ruled by the smartest, most educated members of society?' 'No, I want to be ruled by the kid who ate paste and got his head stuck in the merry-go-round at least twice a month.' The throngs of 'average Joes' knows exactly jack shit about, for example, International Finance. So their opinion on matters regarding International Finance should be worth exactly jack shit. That's the problem with a government of the people, the people are morons. I was looking for a quote from George Carlin about dumb people, but I found this one instead: "The best argument against democracy is a five minute talk with the average voter." -- Winston Churchill.

Quote #830 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Iceberg wrote: > "C.S.Strowbridge" wrote: >> DarkStar wrote: >>>Can anyone tell me what the hell this is? I'm not sure what to make of it, >>>or how afraid to be of it. It's like some sort of Star Trek/Lifetime: >>>Television for Women crossover from Hell. >>> >>>http://angel.scientium.com/start.htm >> >>I'd rather be forced to watch fecaljapan. > > Is it because it's that bad (it's pretty fucking bad, granted), or > because you're C.S. Strowbridge, and horrifically fucked-up porn is > your thing? It's that bad. I like normal porn. The kind that's between a man and a woman. Or occasionally between a man, a woman and a horse. You know, normal stuff.

Quote #872 -- C.S.Strowbridge

DMZ wrote: > I don't rate the average PC user as capable of installing a game without > introducing issues, let alone set up a stenographic file system. Hell, I > don't know if there *are* any stenographic filesystems for Windows, only > Linux. I don't know. PC user, yes. PC gamer ... That's a close call. Hard Core Gamer? They could easily do it. If not, they could always get some help from the Porn Enthusiasts from ABME. That's were I go whenever I have computer issues. These guys know everything, cause nothing is getting in between them and their porn.

Quote #895 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You know, if you drink enough NyQuil you can trap and head you head against the wall really hard and not feel a thing. You can also have 5 minute conversations with said wall that consist of nothing but, 'Light switch. Where's the light swiiiisssshhh ... cha? So this is what it feels like to be a Trekkie.'

Quote #908 -- C.S.Strowbridge

You misunderstand. You don't have a choice, you will put the C.S.Strowbridge Ego Appreciation Award on you site.

Quote #913 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Alex Moon wrote: > "C.S.Strowbridge" wrote: >> >>Orangutans are apes, you ball licker. > > I know, so don't call me a monkey, manwhore. That's Whoreman! While working in my lab late one night, I was bitten by a radioactive prostitute. Now I possess all the powers of a whore!

Quote #940 -- C.S.Strowbridge

"ASVS Master and Official Leader of the ASVS Horny Bastard Brigade" Rock on! I should make a list of all the woman I've mentioned screwing, sucking, stalking and just plain being dirty with. That would be one hell of a huge list. I wonder if any of these woman check the internet to see what people are saying about them? If so, I should probably make a statement before they press charges. ... I, C.S.Strowbridge, would never stalk a woman in real life. It's too much like exercise. There, that should stop any impending lawsuits.

Quote #942 -- C.S.Strowbridge

How to fight a cold. First, take two extra strength Contact C's, then, wash them down with a swig or two of NyQuil in the original green flavour. Next, wake up 18 hours later. I can breathe fine, but I can't think straight, nor do I have the energy to get out of my chair and crawl into bed. Hopefully this doesn't last too long.

Quote #1081 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Ryan: Are you obsessed with penis size or something? Strow: I'm not. Everyone else is. I can't tell you how many times I've met someone and the first thing they say is, 'My god! You have a huge penis.'

Quote #1160 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Watching The Daily show and they talked to a spammer who send 700 MILLION e-mails a day. Of those I get 698 million of them.

Quote #1214 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Spyderizer wrote: > C.S.Strowbridge wrote: >> Speaking of, 'Yarr, every been to sea, Billy?' A friend of mine is >> getting married next month, on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. >> > > "Yarr! An' does the maiden take the scurvy landlubber to have and to > hold until he be keel-hauled or other calamity of the seas befall ye?" > > "Yarr." > > "YARR! Ye may now lock faces with the wench!" I want to write him some Pirate wedding vows, but I have a funny feeling they don't exist. Pirates are probably more of the Love 'Em and Leave 'Em types. Or rape 'em and kill 'em. Betty: Well, it's been awhile since we had a little cuddle. Yellowbeard: I raped ya, if that's what you mean. Betty: Okay. It was half-cuddle, half-rape. Yellowbeard: I'm sure I killed the last one I raped, it can't have been you. Betty: Well, the afterplay was a bit on the rough side, but not fatal dear.

Quote #1215 -- C.S.Strowbridge

This year for my birthday I got two new and impressive Do Not Disturb Signs from my nephew, (but not impressive enough cause people still knock on my door), Sledge Hammer Season 1 on DVD, (which I ordered myself) and the Martin Scorsese Collection, Freaks, Duel and The Outlaw Josey Wales. (which I paid for myself) and a Lizzie McGuire T-Shirt, (don't ask, I'm not sure myself.) That reminds me that the other week I had a dream I was interviewing Hilary Duff as part of my duties for the website I write for. She must have not liked a question I asked cause she threw her drink at me. ... Well at my crotch, to be more specific. I guess she was drunk at the time, cause when she threw that match I went up like a bonfire. It was such a shock that I woke up and tried to put out my flaming groin. Weirdest part about the whole situation was that my balls were hot. I don't mean they were on fire, just much hotter than I've ever felt them before. (And it's not like I don't know what my balls feel like.) But the quickly cooled down to normal. Kind of too bad, cause it wasn't an unpleasent sensation. This is probably something I should have kept to myself.

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