We are all going to hell.


Blasphemy

Quote #615 -- John Hamill

Jesus H. Christ, Phd.

Quote #177 -- Ryan Spickard

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

Quote #178 -- Wayne Poe

Jesus H Christ on a pogo stick.

Quote #179 -- Wayne Poe

But I fucking HATE Torres. Jesus H Christ on a speeder bike, can't she be caught in a warp core breech?

Quote #180 -- Wayne Poe

Jesus Christ on a boogy board, it has FOUR DECKS, Scott!

Quote #181 -- Kynes

Horatio Christ on a sperm-whale driven Batmobile.

Quote #182 -- Wayne Poe

Jesus H Christ with a stutter, you're going to COLLEGE?

Quote #183 -- Kynes

"I mean, sweet and sour Jesus with a side order of spare ribs, do you know how long it will take to repaint the hull where they scraped us?!"

Quote #259 -- Ryan Spickard

Sweet BBQ'ed baby Jesus, they're comming out of the woodwork. Somebody want to buy the newbies a clue?

Quote #390 -- LT.Hit-Man

Holy Christ on a rocket powered rubber crutch!

Quote #602 -- Björn Paulsen

Holy Muhammed on a tuning fork, that's a lot of test!

Quote #675 -- Michael Wong

Jesus ass-fucking Christ, you've got to monitor these people like a hawk, to make sure they don't try to squirm out of simple fucking plain-English instructions!

Quote #706 -- Sir Nitram

Holy flaming donkey shit consecrated by Jesus!

Quote #707 -- Stuart Mackey

Dope smoking Jesus in a whorehouse, but you are lame.

Quote #708 -- Wayne Poe

Christ on a moped carrying a vial of monkey piss.....

Quote #709 -- Stuart Mackey

Thank Christ on a dildo equipped chair for kill files.

Quote #710 -- DMZ

Jesus H Christ in a minisub - he's not handing them drawings of rifles, is he?

Quote #711 -- Sir Nitram

Durandal wrote: >"Sir Nitram" wrote: >> Chuck wrote: >> >"Sir Nitram" wrote: >> >> Chuck wrote: >> >> >"Sir Nitram" wrote: >> >> >> Chuck wrote: >> >> >> >"Gaernin (The Phoenix)" wrote: >> >> >> >> Chuck wrote: >> >> >> >> > Gaernin (The Phoenix) wrote: >> >> >> >> >> Do you know where the universe came from? >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Sure, you pick up a kit from Best Buy. Instructions are pretty >> >> >> >> > basic, just don't screw up the jumpers when you install it or you >> >> >> >> > wind up producing half beaver-half duck creatures and the females >> >> >> >> > will only have two breasts. And if you really foul things up >> >> >> >> > people'll start pissing through their reproductive organs. *shudder* >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> You showed me that, that was scary, man. They even made it legal to >> >> >> >> be a politician. How sick and twisted can a species get? Of course, >> >> >> >> considering what you did with that tablet nonsense... >> >> >> > >> >> >> > How could I forget. And let me tell you, the tech support sucks ass. >> >> >> > >> >> >> I told you not to hook the jumpers up to that Chevy. But noooooooooo. You >> >> >> didn't listen. Just you wait, they'll be debating which of two sci-fi >> >> >> series could beat each other. >> >> > >> >> > I keep trying to restart the damn thing but it's no good. I'm trying to >> >> > decide whether Ebola 2.0 is worth the money or if I should just try >> >> > initiating the Global Warming box in the "Options" setting. If you don't >> >> > know, Options is listed under Tools between "Surface Scan" and "Karate >> >> > Squid." >> >> > >> >> Look, if there's any hope at all, you have to start over. You did a Flood >> >> last time, didn't you? Try fire this time. I understand they developed some >> >> sort of flying cone that can deliver very effective fire to every corner of the >> >> globe. Have the next daft old codger you con into perpetuating the species >> >> submerge himself under the sea. >> >> >> > Thanks, but I already tried that. Wound up losing my driver for Atlantis; >> > not only is the damn thing useless now but the little putzes made a Disney >> > movie about it. >> > >> > And where the hell are all the dragons I made anyway? Jesus, I've got to >> > stop buying the beta versions! >> > >> They left. Said you violated contract. They formed a Union and hitchhiked over >> to my planet. You would not beleive the mess they are making of my ecosystems. >> Did you know one actually ate my actual high priestess? Granted, she fought her >> way out and threw him into a wall, but what the hell. They've even taught the >> crabs how to use black powder. There's a powder keg waiting for a spark, pardon >> the pun. >> > Anyone have a krack for the newest version? It keeps saying I can't > create additional universes without purchasing extra licenses. Is anyone > else tired of God having a monopoly on the universe creation software > market? > Thinks he's so special because he thought up 'Let there be light'. Shit. First day he barely had the thing running. By that time I already had women with three tits having sex with each other just for my amusement.

Quote #728 -- Stuart Mackey

My God in a BDSM parlour, but this is bad stuff.

Quote #732 -- Björn Paulsen

Dear Buddha with a sick passion for Llamas, that is one beautiful box!

Quote #977 -- Dexter's Empire 2 (John Hansen)

"Jesus H. Christ on a fucking inflatable porcupine, will you get on with the story already?" Liet swore ...

Quote #765 -- DMZ

Jesus H Christ fellating an elephant - you want these people to breed!?

Quote #766 -- DMZ

Jesus H Christ in a donkey porn flick, learn to indent quoted text, you drooling simpleton - it looks like you're talking to yourself. Actually, now that I mention it, you probably are.

Quote #785 -- C.S.Strowbridge

Just checking out the FARK.com saw some really winners: http://capalert.com/capreports/sororityboys.htm Offense to God: - an entire theme on men wearing women's clothing What the hell would God be offend by guys in dresses? It's not like they were ass-raping Jesus with a bowling pin; it's guys in drag for Christ's sake! <snip>

Quote #787 -- Rob Wilson

Holy hopped-up Jesus with his dick in a donkey! Your staying alive through the internet, wow, I.V. Porn! That's got to be a kick arse life support system. :-)

Quote #788 -- Pablo Sanchez

"Spyder" <mark.rusbridgeNOSPAMORBADTHINGSHAPPEN@paradise.net.nz> wrote in message news:Xns9225214936C0Spyder@130.133.1.4... > Holy Fish Warlock Jesus, Jesus Henrietta Christ riding the monorail into Yokohama, you people are trying too hard.

Quote #789 -- Jeffrey Yu

Jesus fudgepacking Christ double-penetrating an aged granny, you're a hypocrite.

Quote #902 -- Jesus Stuart Mackey Christ

"freedom" <killdaniellewis@beatuptheweak.com> wrote in message news:A2_j9.10936$DR.715625@newsfep2-win.server.ntli.net... > If you ever met the Lord, I doubt he would speak in early > modern/Shakesperian English. Thy tell thy Lord how to Speak! thou shalt be cast down with the Sodomites!...err you have done that..Thou shalt be Cast down and tomented with ..err you you did that last night with you mother..umm, I shall get back to you on punishment as you seem to enjoy most of the range our tormenting department has. > He knows everything and would realise no > English speaker has spoken like that in centuries! He also knowth that what you and your mother did with that donkey was probably illegal in your area.. > The black man is scum and the South shall rise again!!! My son, the black man has a bigger shlong than you, and he has no trouble getting the south to rise every night, and this is why your daughter told you to get lost, my son.

Quote #836 -- The Baron

On Sun, 11 Aug 2002 01:14:05 -0600, "Ryan Spickard" <atomik_chicken@hotmail.com> wrote: >"The Baron" <swineherd@7dof.org> wrote in message >news:3d55aec6.837191@news.freeserve.co.uk... >> On Fri, 09 Aug 2002 22:23:18 GMT, "Chuck, Dark Lord of the Rings" >> <sonn@ubiteme.com> wrote: >> >"The Baron" <swineherd@7dof.org> wrote in message >> >news:3d541de9.5048533@news.freeserve.co.uk... >> >> Positronic brain is simply a term for an artificial brain which mimics >> >> a human's. >> >> The term was invented before positrons were known of, the two are >> >> unrelated. >> >> >> > Actually, I'm pretty sure Asimov named it after the particle because it >> > was new. > > > > I think you'll find that Asimov was lying, and I am correct. > > >I know for a fact that Jesus 'loves' you. He's a motherfucking liar too, I did his fat mum, virgin my arse.

Quote #970 -- Darth Utsanomiko (SD.net)

Dammit, Jesus Q. Christ on a flagpole! I meant wise dude. Wise ! Damn shaky fingers, I hate mornings...

Quote #988 -- Darth Utsanomiko (SDnet)

Egads, My Fornicating Deity. This is the worst versus argument I have ever seen, hands down. Jesus Q. Christ making waffles, you little fuckwads have pushed me one step closer to becoming a nihilist just from reading this thick-headed drivel. Was this thread supposed to serve an actual informative point, or was it just setting up an opportunity to play out mini-fanfics and start a wankfest over the results?

Quote #989 -- Darth Utsanomiko (SDnet)

Don't send them to a Catholic middleschool unless you start from kindergarten, for the love of El-Shaddai! Jesus Hatfucker Christ, they are vicious at 11-14.

Quote #990 -- Darth Utsanomiko (SDnet)

Jesus Q. Christ with a strap-on, we'd still be in recession with monthly terrorist attacks with that wooden freak in office.

Quote #991 -- Darth Utsanomiko (SDnet)

Oi, Jesus Q. Christ riding a horny pony into sunday school! Enough with the '*Blank* Vs Middle Earth' threads!

Quote #1072 -- Kuja (SDnet)

Great jumping Jehovah shagging a shaak! I knew the HAB commander was hiding something!

Quote #1133 -- Wicked Pilot (SDnet)

SirNitram: I wouldn't be all that surprised if Jesus came back and wound up having to get a job as a cabbie. Wicked Pilot: As long as he saves me from being late...

Quote #1198 -- verilon (SDnet)

Holy Buddha fellating a flagpole!

Quote #1384 -- Rye

Addiction to Christ clearly needs to be addressed next in the Senate. The theotoxins released in someone's body when they feel the rush of deliverance has got to be addictive, and parents are taking their children along to such drug dens routinely, and in the more extreme cases, end up with severely dysfunctional people as a product. Christ is the "new" crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, unwarranted guilt, social stigma, idiocy and erectile dysfunction Richard Dawkins is the East African-born British Zoologist; the Charles Simonyi Professor for the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University; Fellow of New College; Fellow of The Royal Society."My point is not that religion itself is the motivation for wars, murders and terrorist attacks, but that religion is the principal label, and the most dangerous one, by which a "they" as opposed to a "we" can be identified at all." Christ addiction has historically led to some of the worst atrocities recorded by man. "The church is a perfect drug delivery system because you are trapped, lusting for God and have role models for these behaviors, to have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children trapped in it usually by the wishes of the responsible adults -- it's a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind." Christ addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but religious images stay in the brain forever, experience says. "Christworship really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance, that is, it causes false hope, an in several cases the "Rush of Deliverance", shaking, the propensity to handle poisonous snakes and drink poison, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect." The church is dangerous because it removes the inefficiency in the delivery of the gospels, making christworship much more ubiquitous than in the days when people would have to read the Bible themselves. A senator said christworship was ubiquitous now, compared to when he was growing up and "some guy would sneak a Bible in somewhere and show some of us, but you had to find him at the right time." Many psychologists and most reasonable people find the concepts of christ and other religion addiction problematic. Church leaders questioned the validity of the panel for not including anyone who thinks "christworship is not particularly problematic in most people's lives." Church leaders acknowledge they can name people who have compulsive and destructive behavior centered on the Bible, but argues that can happen with other activities, such as gambling and shopping. Church leaders also criticized the methodology behind research showing that Christworship stimulates the brain like drugs do, saying the research needs to take into account how religion itself stimulates the brain. "There's no doubt the brain lights up when theologically aroused," Church leaders said. Studies intended to show the harmful effects of christworship must contend with ethical rules prohibiting harm to human subjects.

Quote #1414 -- felineki

If God so much as lays one blasted hailstone-chucking, tablet-carving, infidel-toasting hand on a kitten, I'll kick his ass.

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