Quote #1158 -- RedImperator, Casanova Extraordinaire -- Quotable Posts
I recommend getting her full name and the tag number from her car. Armed with that information, you should be able to get her address and phone number, maybe her social security number. Then you can stake out a good spot to watch her house and learn her schedule. Be sure to remember a camera with a telephoto lens! After a week or two of observation, you should be able to enter her home confident nobody will be there--we wouldn't want her to spoil the surprise, would we? Don't forget, people often forget to lock upstairs windows, if you're having trouble with the lock on the door. Inside, you'll want to document everything you can. Especially important are documents like bank statements, credit card bills, tax records, etc. Be sure to check her bedroom thoroughly--that's where her most treasured possessions are likely to be kept, and they'll give you a good idea what kind of person she is (also, take the opportunity to search for any firearms and remove their ammunition--guns aren't safe, and if you really care about her, you won't risk her hurting herself). Be sure you leave the house just the way it did when you came in, and leave before your sweetie gets home! Now, with all this information (you might want to build your own darkroom to develop the photos--heaven forbid she knows one of the guys at the drugstore who develops pictures who might spoil the big surprise for you!), you can get to work impressing her. Because you know her schedule and her route to and from work (you HAVE been following her, right?), you can arrange a "coincidental" meeting at your convenience where you can casually mention how you two are so alike, your credit card balances are nearly the same, or that your mothers live within a few miles of each other (be sure you mention her mom's real address and maybe a few fun facts, like the time she goes to sleep at night or the type of lock on her back door, just to show you're not some dilletante, but you're REALLY interested in her). To really impress her, arrange several of these "coincidences" within a few days, each at different locations. She'll think Fate is bringing you together! Finally, one magical evening, it will be time to make your move. Buy a dozen of her favorite flower and sneak into her house while she's asleep. Get naked and slide into bed with her, holding the flowers. Wrap your arms around her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she wakes up. She might be startled, so be sure to hold on tight when she first wakes up. Once she realizes who you are, she'll be so happy she'll shriek with joy. I hope this advice helps.
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