vii. OK, enough of that stupid crap. Now, about fanfics...

  1. What the FUQ is a fanfic?!
    Fanfic is short for Fan Fiction. They are stories written by fans, usually for other fans, and vary from great, to mediocre, to complete garbage. Most of the fanfic here is actually pretty good, with the occasional crapfest from random idiots.

  2. Fanfic characters sure share a lot of names with denizens...
    Of course. It's been a tradition ever since the first fanfic to include denizens as characters in stories. Most stories have done this, with several exceptions.

  3. Can I be in a fanfic?
    That's entirely up to the author. Go beg at their knees. Their price is usually a picture of Jeri Ryan. Or Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Naked. Sometimes together. Good luck.

    Or, instead, you can become a troll and be written in as marked for a stupid, or spectacular, death.

  4. Can I write a fanfic?
    Sure! Be our guest. Just make sure it doesn't suck or you'll have to answer to LT.Hit-Man and friends.

  5. Who are the best authors?
    We have quite a few great authors in the newsgroup. They include Chuck Sonnenburg, LT.Hit-Man, Michael January, Michael O'Shea, Kyle Knopf, me, Baron Kenneth von Lowe, Jonathan Boyd, Commander Thelea (Maj Svetlanna) and Alex Moon. This is by no means a complete list.

  6. Which fanfics are the best?
    According to popular opinion, the best fanfics include Conquest, Imperial Phoenix, Battleground Alpha, Galaxy of War, Fist of the Empire, Worlds Without End, Shadows of the Night, Honor Bound, Rise of the Rebel Suns, Domination and SOLO. This is also by no means a complete list.

  7. Which fanfics are the worst?
    Janeway's Surprise and Second Contact. Incidentally, both are by Paul Jacques.

  8. Which fanfics should I read first?
    Most people cut their teeth on Imperial Phoenix, which was more or less the first fanfic. After that, read everything by Michael January (Don't worry, won't take TOO long). Then, it's recommended that you check out all the fics listed here.

  9. Who are the Cleaners?
    They are an elite group of Special Ops Imperial Stormtroopers whose main missions are inflitration and sabotage. Now, they are a constant appearance in many fanfics. Although the makeup changes from story to story, it's a safe bet that LT.Hit-Man will be either a member or the leader.

  10. Why is Rob Dalton pissed at Sean Collins?
    Because Sean Collins is a stupid worthless FUCKER who rapes people's fanfics (he prefers the term 'vandalize,' but nobody gives a shit what he thinks) without permission to express his own biased trekkie viewpoint and further a debate point. Quite a few people are pissed off at him for his garbage, including several members of The Cleaners, for the trolling and Chuck Sonnenburg, because the fanfic in question was Balance of the Force. Unsurprisingly, Elim Garak fully supported Sean's jackass trolling. Sean Collins has the honor of being one of the few folks residing in Chuck's killfilter. He pulled the same shit again later on with Baron Kenneth von Lowe's epic fanfic Domination. Sean has had his submissions pulled from the archive, and he shall be known forever on this document as truly one of the greatest assholes to ever spread their troll droppings on the newsgroup.

  11. What are fanfic reviews?
    A fanfic review was an occasional treat from LT.Hit-Man that rated fanfics from a scale of 1-10 in the midst of it's own fanfic world. Each subsequent review grew in size, culminating in LT.Hit-Man's Final Fanfic Review. He retired indefinitely, and fanfics are now occasionally reviewed by Phong Nguyen, Björn Paulsen, Doomriser and Crayz9000.