Subject: [Celebrity Deathmatch part 2] Omicron Theta vs ASVS (even the trekkies)
Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2000 20:37:40 +1000
From: "WeeMadAndo" <weemadando@start.com.au>
 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars




Jonny Diamond:  "Well after that interesting first round matchup between
Yoda and Q the ring has been cleaned up and we are preparing the 40,000 volt
electrified cage of death.'
Nicky Gomez:  "This match is so big that we are holding it one of the
biggest outdoor arena's in the world.  The new coliseum!  Specially
constructed for this fantastic match-up.  Now to our guest tonight Darth
Vader for his take on the match-up."
Darth Vader:  "Well, it looks to me like Omicron Theta really has a borg's
chance of assimilating the earth here.  Not only is he misinformed, but he's
a complete gimp!"
<from the ring>  Omicron-Theta:  "Yeah, spank me!"
N:  "Well, its not disbuted that ASVS definately has the upper hand here,
there is HIT-MAN, Boyd, PREDATOR and Dalton just to name a few.  This boy is
going to get torn to shreds out there."
J:  "It would be like throwing a steak into a pack of hungry wolves."
N:  "And here comes the ASVS contingent!"  <cue pyro FX>
DV:  "It looks like they are being lead out by veteran Deathmatcher HIT-MAN,
behind him is Dalton and Kyle, my god, there are atleast a hundred of them
through the doors and more keep coming!"
N:  "I can say one thing this match isn't going to last very long."
J:  "Lets go ringside where special guest referee Che Guevara will start the
match."

<cut to ringside>
Che:  "OK I wanna a good unclean fight, below the belt, dirty all of the
rest of it!.  Lets get it on!"  <Fires a clip from an AK-47 into the air.
Omicron-Theta craps his dacks>
J:  "Its on!  It looks like the cleaners are taking the offensive.  PREDATOR
and Spyda appear to be flanking and -"
DV:  "Oh my god!"
N:  "Thats not right, its just not right."
DV:  "Is that physically possible?"
Che:  "Holy -"  <Che's face is splattered with blood>
J:  "Goddamn, he's getting taken apart in there!"
OT:  "HELP ME!"  <Suddenly rushing downt he aisle comes the New French
Revolution, Elim, Paul and Timothy>
ASVS:  "Goddamn it!"
DV:  "The New Revolution have rushed the arena and its on for young and old.
Michael January is taking asevere beating from Elim, All his blows just seem
to rebounding off his body, even his calcs aren't working!"
Michael January:  "Therefore it is imposs - Aaaaah!  I can't take it any
more, too much bullshit!"  <MJ flees from the arena and ELim moves on to
PREDATOR>
PREDATOR:  "Whos' my bitch?"
J:  "Whoa!  I'd say that we won't be hearing much from Elim for a while!"
DV:  "You guys perfected head to spinal column reconstructive surgery yet?"
N:  "Whoa, it looks like HIT-MAN, Boyd and Dalton are struggling with
Timothy!"
Timothy:  "Pah, you pathetic fools!  I will never be overcome!  You only
defeated me once and now MKSheppard is no longer here I will be ab;e to
destroy you!"
<MASSIVE Pyro FX  A silhouette stands at the top of the entry ramp carrying
a CAR-15>
J:  "MKSheppard is back!"
HIT-MAN:  "TOGA PARTY!"
MKSheppard:  "I see you guys just couldn't manage without me."  <He pauses
to blow apart Timothy's head>
N:  "Sweet shooting!"
Che:  "Wow, I now see why we aren't getting Elian back in a hurry."
MK:  "I will give you trolls one chance to leave.  One.  Leave now and I'll
spare you."  <Paul and Omicron look at each other then rush the startled
denizens>
OT:  "Right then, I guess I better start with you."
Iceberg3k:  "Me?  You better be ready bitch."  <Omicron rushes in, tripping
over his own feet and biting off his tongue>
J:  "Well that could be the end of the match."
DV:  "Wait look at the sky!"  <a long scrolling post runs across the sky>
N:  "Omicron's legacy!  No!"
J:  "God, its hideous!"  <Vader begins to force choke himself, PREDATOR
prepares to commit hara-kiri with his wrist blades, HIT-MAN grabs his glock
and places it to his temple>
Ashen-Shugar:  "Don't worry I'll save you!"  <Ashen leaps onto Omicron and
begins smacking his head into the ground>
ASVS:  "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!"
Crowd:  "Kill him now!"
AS:  "AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"  <With an almighty effort he tears of Omicron's
head and places it on a platter which is then triumphantly placed in the
centre of the arena.  The ASVSers procedd to file past and piss on it>
DV:  "Some one, give that man a medal."  <he passes out from asphyxiation>
J:  "Thats one match that was over none to soon."
N:  "But wait, where's Paul?"  <all the ASVSers look around and spot him
limping towards an exit>
Atomik Chicken:  "Get him!"  <The massive crowd of denizens race after Paul
finally catching him>
Paul:  "You'll never take me down!  My posts will live on!"
Kynes:  "Its for the good of the group.  Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for
breakfast."  <He crash-tackles Paul into the cage of death frying them both>
HM:  "He was a good man and he'll be missed."
Boyd:  "Ha, who are we kidding?  On with the toga party!"  <suddenly trays
of drinks and go-go dancers appear from no-where>
J:  Hang on guys, I'll be there in a minute!"
N:  "Save me a scotch!"
DV:  "How the hell am I meant to wear a toga?"
J&N:  "Hahahahahahhaha."
DV:  "You again infuriate me!"  <He force chokes the commentators again>
"Apology accepted commentators."