LT. HIT-MAN's fan fic showcase review 6 LT.HIT-MAN walked into the med bay where a project of his was being worked on but he found Spike Rush, his aprentise and his apotied son that he and his wife Admril Daala where rising as if his was there own flesh and blood. " SPIKE WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE SITH ARE YOU DOING?!?!" LT.HIT-MAN screamed as he saw that Spike had done something to the project that he had been working on, Spike jump at the sound of his master's voice dropping the cup that he had been holding. LT.HIT-MAN put the laser sight that was built into his cyber eye on Spike's sweaty forhead then he reached down and picked up the fallen cup, took a sniff. " Is this what I think it is?" he raged at the boy who to his credit was standing his ground " It's coffee so what's the big deal?" Spike said sarcasccly LT.HIT-MAN felt like he had been sucker punched, the project was as good as dead in the water and he felt the rage that he fought to keep in check every waking moment of his life starting to flare up like a super nova. " GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOUR GROUNDED!,NO MORE PRISOERS FOR YOU FOR A MONTH!" he yellede as he reached out for Spike who was starting to back away. The thing with Spike was that he was a prical joker, a joker with a dark humor that LT.HIT-MAN could apreat, like the time when he had been traing the young boy to be a sith lord, Spike had levated tem fedration prisoners into a pit of moten copper, slowly, the boy had a mean streak a light year wide an a good hunder light years long. Spike knew that he realy kriffed up this time and that he should just shut his mouth and go to his room but the small voice in the back of his mind would not shut up. " AWW but that's not fair!" Spike said as the the resoning of and eight year old boy took hold of him, he did not see what the big deal was everyone knew that coffee was good for you. LT.HIT-MAN lost it and reached out with his human hand and grabbed the protesting boy by his ear and draged him to his room and locked him in there, hoping that the boy would not try to escape as he had done so many other times becuase if he did LT.HIT-MAN was going to turn the boy of his cyber knee and tan his backside but good. " I'll deal with you later!" LT.HIT-MAN said to Spike in a voice so cold that Spike was realy afired for his life, ould you blame the young sith lord in trianing for that? LT.HIT-MAN walked back to the med lab to see how badly the project had been coruped, after subduing the project he reised that he might be able to salvage something after all, but that would have to wait he ha fan fic to review. " All right maggots I am having a realy bad kirffing day!" LT.HIT-MAN yelled as the prisoners filed out if there cells, when they heard that a few prisoners that had made some knifes from the spoons that they had been given to eat there food with slit there throats rather then face the enraged LT.HIT-MAN. LT.HIT-MAN looked down at the dying copes of the twenty prisoners who had taken there lives and his rage grew. " WHO'S THE KRIFFING CELL BLOCK COMANDER?" LT.HIT-MAN howled as he grabbed the clostet stormtrooper and staed to shake him like a rag dool, he shook the poor trooper so hrad that there was a lound snapping that echoed thought out the cell block as the unluky or lucky trooper from your point of view neck snapped. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" LT.HIT-MAN compleatly lost his mind and wipped out his light saber, Ignighted it and started swining wildly cutting down six stromtroopers and fifteen fed pirsoners and on his face was a smile as he let his rage play out. LT.HIT-MAN was about to slughter everyone there but fate stepped in as the rest of the stromtroopers and the fed prisoners worked togher for once and shoved the cell block comander, who was pissing himself in front of LT.HIT-MAN and preying that he would be satifed with the comander When LT.HIT-MAN saw the Commander he stopped swinging and slowly ever so slowly walked up to the comander, the maddness that had taken hold of LT.HIT-MAN scant seconds ago was gone. " Why did you not know that the prisoners had the homemade knifes for?" LT.HIT-MAN asked the comander in a clam voice and relaxed voice as if they had been friends for years and they where just shooting the shit. The omander just stood there in fear unable to say a thing, wanting to pass out but his fear boosted adrealen kept him consice to face the unholy wrath of LT.HIT-MAN. When LT.HIT-MAN saw that there would be no answer forthcoming he slowly reached up and ripped the doomed man's rake bars and cylender from his unifrom " For this day forth you are nothing, you has digraced the Empire." LT.HIT-MAN said as he shoved the ex-comander into the rake and file of the ex-fedration personal. With finalty of the grave in hkis voice LT.HIT-MAN said " You have failed me for the last time and got to work. " First up is Domination parts 17-22 by Baron Kenneth von Lowe" LT.HIT- MAN said as he took a drink of cold water " This fic has lots of twist and turns in it that realy cught me by surprise 10 out 10 blaster bolts." LT.HIT-MAN said and had ten prisoners lead away to a sealed off hanger bay and gave them there pick of weapons from the stock pile he had set up there under heavy gurad. " Chuck Sonnenburg's fan fic Worlds with out end parts 24 and 25 are realy kick ass just like the rest of his fic so he gets 10 out 10, keep up the good work my friend." and another 10 prisners where lead away and armed as well. By now everyone was starting to wonder just what the hell was LT.HIT- MAN was up agest there better judgement, but LT.HIT-MAN was not saying boo about it. The Votex parts 1 to 7 is a top of the line fan fic, lots of nasty space battles all tasefly done up and the best of all the Empror and my good friend Darth Vader are in it, so he gets 10 out 10 blaster blots and gold plated ones at that heheheheheh." as the 10 more prisoners were take away to the other 20 and armed as well the ex-cell block comander felt the glemring seeds of hope start to blossem, he thought that he maight have a chance of living though this mess. " Battle for the Milky way parts 1 to 4 by a newcomer to the NG named Grand Admiral Reid is a realy kriffed up fic, lots of toruter sex and just all around nastyness, I love this fic, it can only get better but it is not as good as the other fics I have read but it has the potental to be a realy classy fic so I give it 8 out of 10, keep up the good work GA.Reid." the eight prisoners that were being lead away tryed to make a brake for it but there were reduced to ashes by the E- webs that set on eater side of LT.HIT-MAN. " They should not have ran like that, they might have live though this review." LT.HIT-MAN said with a nasty smrik as he started to eat a ration bar, by now the prisoners where at there braking point, LT.HIT- MAN was going to reach out and brake them, slowly ever so slowly. " Heir to the Federation by another newcomer to the NG named Jake Kreutzer is something that is difrent from your avrage SW vs ST fan fic, but there is only one part to it that I have seen so far and I'm still not to sure how this one is going tourn out so it gets a 5 out of 10 but it has a lot of potentional so I'm going to wait and see how it turns out before reviewing it agen." LT.HIT-MAN said as he kicked up his feet, watching as the five prisoner where being lead away and armed for what ever may await them and LT.HIT-MAN enjoyed the looks of fear and hate on there haggered faces, yes life was good. " Now it's time to review an old favrote of mine, BA:Oath of Allegiance by Jonathen Boyd, that's kiddies good old Boyd is back and kick'en ass, I'm not going to spoil this fic by telling you about, you'll just have to read for yourself and if you don't like that to bad, your so sad but I greanten that you will not be disaponted by this fic 10 out 10 all the way." LT.HIT-MAN said as he had the server doirds hand out some snacks, unpoisend ones at that as the prisoners found out so it stood to reson that LT.HIT-MAN was over his bad mood. The proloque to the fan fic known as Blitzkreig by yet another newcomre to the NG named Kyle looks to be a good smash'em up knock down drag out, kick ass and take no prisoners kind of fan fic, just the way I like them sometimes, hit as hard as you can as fast as you can and as many times as you can that's the way to wage a war by there is only one part to it that I have seen so far I give it a 6 out of 10." LT.HIT-MAN started to drink down some coffee and lit up a stogge as the six lucky guest stars of this fan fic review where taken away. " Good this is getting good, Spik had better hope that I will be able to salvage something for the project that he kriffed up." LT.HIT-MAN thought to himself as he got ready to review another fan fic. " The Jedi where as corupt as the old repubic they served, Never trust a Jedi!" LT.HIT-MAN snarled as he mashed out the sup of his stoggie in some poor prisoner's left nostal. " Trek of the Jedi parts one to four by Lord Insanity proves this points oh so well, once the Empire is done with your galaxy we will returen and extremanted every last Jedi and the new republic that he serve, there will be order!" LT.HIT-MAN screamed as he jumped to his feet, the momory of what the rebels had done to his home galaxy, to him, his wife and unborn son washed over him like a wave of acid all becuase the damm rebel scum would not let old republic die the death is so rightly desevered, yes there will be blood for blood. " I give Trek of the Jedi seven out of ten, only becuase you could more descripive in you space battles." And seven more prisoners where dragged away and armed with rail detonators this time. " The fan fic Rasputin parts one to six kicks ass!!!! I loved the recreuting bit in the opening of part five THAT ROCKED!!!!!!" LT.HIT- MAN yelled jubently as smiling that smile of his and a cold wave of fear gripped the prisoners as well as his own men, when LT.HIT-MAN was happy you just knew that there was going to be a whole lot of dying, but LT.HIT-MAN looked ready to start turning cartwheels and that's when everyone there started to panic, could you blame them? :-) " I give Rasputin 10 out 10 blaster bolts for sure!" LT.HIT-MAN said wildly, then as suddenly as he was happy he became cold and lethal and added in a voice that shook them all to there very core " Don't disapont me on this fic." And the 10 prisoners gladly walked to the hanger bay, glad to get as far way from LT.HIT-MAN as they could. " Clash of the Titans parts 1 to 4 are kick ass! Empror Vader who'd have thought of that, Speices 8472 vs the Empire? Well done Paul Cassidy you get the full 10 out 10 I look forward to reading more of this fic" LT.HIT-MAN said as he had nine fed prisoners lead away along with the ex-cell block comander. " Honor Bound part 3 gets a 10 out 10 for sure Rob Dalton is a very good fan fic wirter and best of all He has given me something to write about namely LT.HIT-MAN' Journal Honror Bound much like LT.HIT-MAN's Journal IP he has a good story line that I am realy enoying 10 out 10 for you Rob" LT.HIT-MAN personaly selcted the 10 prisoners that where to be taken away and there was a smile in his face that was the most frightening of all his smiles. LT.HIT-MAN walks over to a eight foot talk metal clycender and opens it to reveal Seifert from the NG who blinks in surize and then fear as LT.HIT-MAN smiles. " I told you that you can run by you can hide from me." Seifert starts to tremble in fear as LT.HIT-MAN resumes the fan fic review " Next up is a fan fic by Seifert it has no name that I am awhere of yet but there are three parts to it the frist two are good I give them a eight out of ten becuase it is unfished and I never would have been knockd out so easly." LT.HIT-MAN says as he has a few med droids inject Seifert with a mixtuer of lsd and a diaretic then LT.HIT-MAN hands Seifert a roll of tiolt paper " Have a nice trip and consider this a warning, get my charter right." Eight prisoners are lead away and armed as there are some strange sound are heard from the crapper trapper near by Next up are two fan fics by another newcomer to the NG by the name of Sha ' rune Jay the first one is a love story." When the prisoners heard that they let out a stfilled gasp " And I found it amussing I like this one." When LT.HIT-MAN said that the prisoners where slint, there minds unable to comprehent that LT.HIT-MAN read love stories " Baron and Shammie get a six out ten, the next fic has no name but I have read it and I loved it well done Sha ' rune Jay the unnamed fic gets a 10 out of 10." LT.HIT-MAN said as he cracked a cold one and start to drink as sixteen prisoners wher lead away. LT.HIT-MAN sat down and had a thoughtful look on his scared face, there was a long fear filled slince that hung in the air like a deadly chemical fog " Last and not lest is The Voage of the Filty Whore." LT.HIT-MAN says as a realy nasty smile plays arcros his scared face " I give this fic a 10 out 10 for this fic I love what was done to Timmoth Jones hehehe it suits him." With said ten more prisoners where lead away and armed LT.HIT-MAN pushed a button on his remote and the holo screan swiched to the inside of the sealed off hanger bay where the armed prisoners where waiting for the end, they di not have long to wait. " I had been working on pet project of mine and well I'll show inseed of telling you about it." and he pushed another button and a door opened at the far en of the hanger bay " I AM SITH-HOLLO!!!!!!!" a deardful voice screamed and standing there was a black robed figuer that scramed " I NEED JEDI FOR MY BUNG HOLLO!!!" and the figer then removed it's hood to reveal the face of Darth Maul, his eyes where bugging out of his face and he was frothing at the mouth. LT.HIT-MAN had been cloaning Darth Maul from the dna he had stolen along with a Sprii chamber, he had planed to cloan a whole army of one of the ith's gretest battle lords but Spike had given the clone some coffee but as LT.HIT-MAN found out clones and coffee do not mix and this dranged cloan of Darth Maul was the resualt " Hey Darth Maul" LT.HIT-MAN called out over the comm panle in the hanger bay, Darth Maul jumpped at the sound o LT.HIT-MAN's voice and with in less then 1/100th of a second Darth Maul whipped out his double bladed light saber and ignighted it " ARE YOU TREATING ME?, DO NOT MAKE MY BUNG HOLE ANGRY OR IT WILL SWING AROUND AND BITE YOUR FACE OFF!" LT.HIT-MAN started to luagh, this was just to damm funny " Hey easy up there Maully, you see the people in the hanger bay with you?" LT.HIT- MAN waited until Darth Maul got a good look at the doomed prisoners in the hanger bay then added " They are jedi go get them, strike them down with all of your hate and you will have your revenge on the jedi scum!" When Darth Maul heard that he let out a blood chilling howl that even made LT.HIT-MAN sweat a bit and then he force leaped into the middle of the mass of prionsers that where soiling themself in fear. Darth Maul lashed out at the prisoners with force bossted speed and cafien feualed hatered as he slahed a 10th of the prisners into bloody chunks of flesh, the rest of the prisoners snapped out of there fear induced coma and started to fire wildly at the crazed Sith lord but there where slow way to slow. "I NEED JEDI FOR MY BUNG HOLLO!!!" Darth Maul yowled as he moved like greased lighting utting down prisonrs left and right " YOU SHALL NOW FEEL THE WRATH OF MY BUNG HOLE!" Maul screamed as he fired bolts of force lighting at the prisoners frying half of them before he finshed off the rest of them, then he started gibbing something before he died from acuite caffen poisoning. LT.HIT-MAN started to laufing even more this had been to damm funny then he realzied that he still might be able to salavge something from this project after all, an army of crazed Darth Mauls over running enemy postions, rising all sorts of hell made him feel better, " We are now coming out of hyper space around Trayornya 9." LT.HIT-MAN wacthed as the remaing prisoners run and in some cases fought amongsted themself to be the frist to get on the shuttles that would take them to the mines and more importenly away from LT.HIT-MAN. " Yep all in a day's work." LT.HIT-MAN thought to himself as he lit up another stoggie. END Return to LT. HIT-MAN'S Fanfic Showcase Return to Star Wars and Star Trek