From: tierce@my-dejanews.com [RST3K] Re:ST vs SW? Thats a pretty fair fight actually... --------------------------------------------------------- On the prison moon.... Gaeriel: Look at all the good fanfic that's in the NG now! Han: It's sucks we can't read them instead of Paul's post. (Luke, Obi-Wan, Leia, and the Solo Twins all shiver simulitaniously.) Mon Montha: What is it? Luke: I felt a grave distrubance in the Force. Lando: Who wants to start the countdown. Wedge: I will.... Five... Four... Three... Two... (Captain Picard appears on the viewscreen) Wedge: (con't) One. Picard: Greetings, I am Captain Sean-... Bel Iblis: Oh great here he goes with his name call. Lando: What do they always do this. Jacen: It almost like something that Team Rocket of 'Pokemon' always does. Jaina: Don't forget Sailor Moon, she always does something on this order. Obi-Wan: I think I speak for everyone over thrity when I ask what are you two talking about. Jaina: They're Anime chartoons they show on the Holonet. Jacen: I kinda like that Sailor Jupiter chick. Jaina: You don't even watch Sailor Moon. Jacen: I know, but I got naked hologram of the Sailor Scout... (he see his mother and father glaring at him). Leia: Jacen! I want you to get rid of them. Han: You mother's right, you're not supposed to have them. (He whispers in Jacens) where do you keep them, anyway? Leia: Han! Luke: Don't worry I'll make sure they're out of his hands. Han: Just don't let Mara catch you with them. Bel Iblis: Anyway, how much longer till Picard is done his name speech. Wedge: We got a few more minutes. Lando: Does anyone know when Thrawn's birthday is? Ackbar: No, why? Lando: Because I've been thinking of giving him this book... Ackbar: (looks at the book) 'Mining Moles for Dummies'? Han: Lando, buddy, that's cold. Lando: I was thinking of putting a bookmark in chapter Two: 'Resetting the command code'. But that would be just too obnoxious. Leia: That would be. Bel Iblis: Buy hey, just look at what they're trying to do to keep up with us with the ratings. Lando: You mean the romance with Daala and (snikcer) Pally? Threepio: Well, IST3K might actually improve with rating now that they got Anakin signed. Leia: *My* son! No way. I'll sue for custody! Obi-Wan: What me to get Cochran on the holonet? Picard: Het were you listening to me? Obi-Wan: (uses Jedi mind trick) Yes. Picard: Okay. Luke: (whispers to Obi-Wan) Master, you didn't to use your Jedi trick. Obi-Wan: I know. Gaerial: I was thinking about the latest IST3K post, and I got a question for you Picard? Picard: Go ahead, shoot. Han: Don't tempt us, baldy. Gaerial: *ahem*, when you threaten Q, that you'll tell Janeway that he's a dude, or whatever. What did you mean by that? Picard: Huh? Gaerial: I mean, how would you know, unless? Mon Montha: What our Barukan friend here is trying so say, 'Are you gay?' Rebel chorus: What Picard's gay! (Q, wearing a funny mustach and glasses, appears next to Picard) Q: We are not gay! Luke: Hello Q. Q: I am not Q, I am his twin-brother... P. Han: 'P'? You realize this opens the door to potty humor. Leia: We are not the Imperials, we will not resort to such nonsense. Lando: Anyway, Q, do you realize what Phong will do to you. Q: I am not Q. Data: Captain, I am picking up an Imperial Stardestoyer. Rebels: Uh oh! (Phong, the almighty FAQ maintainer, on the Enterprise's bridge.) Phong: Hello Q, I though we had talked about you interferring in alt.startrek.vs.starwars. I don't like my FAQ being violated! Q: Wait, this is a fanfic. So, I'm allowed to be here. Phong: That hasn't been made offical yet. (turns to Picard) Excuse me captain, can I 'talk' to Q in your ready room. Picard: Of course, my ready room is ready. Otherwise it wouldn't be called a ready room. Gaerial: That is so lame. Phong: Come on, Q. (Phong grabs Q by the ear and drags him into the ready room.) Q: Wait... please.... (Once the doors to the ready room closes. The Ent-D's crew and the rebels hear the sounds of Phong beaten Q to a bloody pulp, while Q begs for his life.) Picard: Anyway, here is Paul's latest post. Obi-Wan: Oh, why couldn't it be me who was tossed in that Volcano. In article <_c0n2.11919$dB4.373500@carnaval.risq.qc.ca>, he791859@merlin.uqam.ca (PAUL JACQUES H.JR) wrote: >Andrew Muir (lgpiett@hotmail.com) wrote: >> >> > Okay take into consideration a Sovreign class vessel vs an ISD or ImpStar >> >Duce, I think that the Enterprise-E could take out either of these ships, >> >> Incorrect. If you look at the figures we have, you'll see that a >> Sovereign-class ship would have its hands full with a VSD from SW. SW >> weaponry is an order of magnitude stronger than ST weaponry. > I don't think so! Artoo beeps in confusion. Luke: I think he meant 'I don't think'. Han: That's what I gathered. > A fighter destroyed the DS in ANH. Leia: And what does that have to do with the original arguement? Han: What does Pael's statements have to do with anything? Threepio: Who's Pael? Han: I made a typo, so sue me. Lando: I wouldn't push it, Han. Threepio has access to LucasArt's lawyers. You know how they are. > So a torpedo sent by the Enterprise-E in the exhaust port would do the same. Gaeriel: How big is a ST-Torp anyway? Ackbar: Judging from ST:2. Big enough to fit a person in it. Gaeriel: And how is that going to fit in a two meter hole? Wedge: Let's assume that the torpedeo is small enough to fit. My question is, how is it going to make it from the Enterprise's laucher to the exhaust port. A ST torp manueverability is not that great. And that's not taken account for the DS's sensor and manueverabiliy jamming. > The MF manage to escape against several ISDs in TEB. So the Defiant could do the same. Han: Don't go there! There is way someone like Captain Sisko can hold a candle to me. I just like to see him fly through an asteriod field with the Defiant. Bel Ilbis: You know we're talking about a ship the size of a Rebel Blockade running. Luke: So what? A Stardestroyer has no problem. Bel Iblis: A Stardestoyer has strong enough shields to endure the asteriod. Han: And the Falcon has the manueverability and a good pilot, I mean me, to dodge the asteriods. Jaina: Starfleet ships don't have these things. Jacen: That's why they always piss in their red shirts when they see an asteriod. Wedge: I thought we agreed not to have any potty humor in this post. Leia: Jacen, you're grounded. Jacen: But... Jaina: hee hee... > A small rebels fleet prevailed against the DS2, SSD and the ISDs in ROJ. Ackbar: That's because we used the 'T' word. Starfleet uses the 'M' word. > Therefore a Federation fleet using warp and torpedos could do the same. Lando: Why do these Pro-St fanatics keep insisting that the Feds will use warp tactics. Luke: Because since SW are not warp capable, they figured it'll be ideal. Gaerial: Has ST ships ever used Warp-strifing against a non-warp target. Leia: Ofcourse not... but they had several opurtunities. Han: You stand corrected. I've seen ST ships use Warp in battle. Luke: Really! When? Han: When they perfrom something called a 'retreat'. The Rebels laugh. >> > Okay on the issue of the borg vs the empire? The Borg would win. I'm >> sorry >> >but the Borg can adapt to anything >> >> No, they can't. They can't adapt to raw power, > > That is FALSE. In best of both worlds the Enterprise-D funelled the > warp core energy to the main deflector dish. Taking the 'True Q' > statement: 12.75 Billion of Gigawatts. That represents 12,750,000 TW > of raw power that was sent to the Borg ship. Not a scratch on the cube. > The cube received the equivalent of 3036 megatons per second. > So they CAN adapt to raw power. Wedge: What about 'Scorpion'? Lando: Or 'Decent Two'? Luke: Or the fact that the Borg KNEW about their tactic from Picard. Mon Montha: Can we get to back to the point of this post? Luke: Sorry... was their a point. Mon Montha: No, I was just testing you. >> and they can't adapt to >> kinetic energy - as evidenced in "Scorpion" and First Contact. > > You're right about no evidence. But the Borg did scan the > Enterprise-D's technology. We know that the Enterprise-D has > kinetic shield. So if it is needed then the Borg will make it. The rebels grown. Mon Montha: This has been argued to death. Wedge: If the Borg had kinetic shields, why didn't they use them? Lando: We all know the answer. I'm just waiting for the next dumb arguement that's been done. Gaeriel: 'You know, I seen this episode on TNG that says that lasers couldn't penetrate the Enterprise's navigational deflector.' Lando: Ahhhhhhhhh! >> The Borg are >> also incredibly stupid - they don't employ tactics that have been used by >> *primates*. A troupe of chimps know more about tactics and localised >> defence than the Borg do. > > If they are so stupid then how come thousand to millions of worlds have > been assimilated. Han: Being that this is the Trek universe, and that they like to use Melee all the time, well, just guess. Threepio: Like all of Starfleet's victories, the Borg are just lucky. Jaina: I wish me and Jacen could get lucky like that, often. Leia: You're grounded. Chewie growls. Leia: I don't care hoe she meant it, I just don't want to hear it said. > Contrary to the Empire after a defeat the Borg don't > create factions to fight each other. Bel Iblis: What a minute! Wasn't a Borg faction formed when that one called Hue gained his indiviuality? Lando: Yes, I remember that epsiode well. Hue said something that many Borg fought for control, and others locked themselves in a room and starved themselves. Leia: Thus prove that the Borg will apart faster than any Imperial faction when it's cut from it's leadership. Ackbar: Which begs the question: Why didn't Picard use that virus thingy... or whatever they were going to use on Hue and send him back to the collective. Han: Because he's a spineless idiot, who was brainwashed with Federation's moral ideals. (Picard appears on the veiwscreen) Luke: Speak of the devil. Picard: Well, did you like the post. Han: You know, the more we read these posts the more likey that'll be a chance that you'll have a Rebel/Imperial alliance against the Federation. Picard: The worse is still to come. Once Paul introduces his UCD. Jacen: PCP? Picard: No, UCD. Jaina: LSD? Picard: No, UCD? Jacen: UPN? Picard: MO! UCD! Jaina: COD? Picard: The hell with you kids! I'm going to enjoy tormenting you with Paul's next. Picard Out! Leia: Good job kids, I'm proud of you. Jacen: Does that mean that we're not grounded. Leia: No you're still grounded until the next RST3K post.