From: Fifty_Caliber@webtv.net (Nathan Yates)
Subject: (Voyager news) If THIS doesn't bring in the ratings, ....
Date: 10 Aug 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars

I don't know what will. I have read on the web that UPN is interested in
signing WWF talent to make guest appearrences on ST: Voyager. I guess
it's to tie in with the new WWF Thursday night program that is going to
premeir on UPN on Aug. 26, called Smackdown. 
Before somebody thinks this is a stupid move, let me point out that WWF
Monday Night Raw is the highest rated program on cable[here in the US,
anyway) with a draw lately of 6 million veiwers a week. 
It's kind of funny, you know. A few months ago I thought, 'Gee, the only
way Voyager could possibly be entertaining is if Vince Mcmahon and his
bookers [the folks who come up with the storylines, decide who wins and
loses, etc.] were able to write for it. Hehe. Maybe it would have a
background narrator, namely Jerry 'The King' Lawler, and every time
Seven of Nine comes on there he goes "Puppies, puppies, PUPPIES!!!!" If
you watched it, you would know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, maybe the ROCK will make an appearence. I'm kinda hoping he'd be
a bad guy captain. Here'd be the initial meeting:
(The Voyager comes across an alien spacecraft that calls itself 'THE
GREAT ONE'., while invistigating the latest war they have come accross)

(Tuvok)Captain they are hailing us.
(Janeway) On screen

(On screen there is a man with light brown skin who has his eyebrow
raised, and wearing a $500 shirt. His bridge crew is chanting "ROCKY,
ROCKY,ROCKY.....")

(THE ROCK) What is your name?

(Janeway) I am Captain Jane-

(THE ROCK) I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS! I have HEARD about the
USSssss VoyBOOGER and ITS captain LAMEWAY. You need to SHUT your MOUTH
and KNOW YOUR ROLE, jabrony! I know all about your prime DIRECTIVE and
how you VIOLATE it! Well, I have MY own PRIME DIRECTIVE, and that is to
take one of the people's photon torpedoes, TURN THAT sumbitch sideways,
and SHOVE IT UP YOUR CANDY ASSES!!!!

(HIS crew) ROCKY,ROCKY,ROCKY...

(ROCK) If any of you dare  to go ONE on ONE with the GREAT ONE (Pointing
to himself), if HE hits you, HE'LL kill YOU. If HE MISSES, the wind will
give pnuemonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabronies.
IF you SMEEELLLLlalalalal WHAT THE ROCK.....is cooking. 
  
And Janeway is totally doumbfounded and speechless.

Now who wouldn't mind seeing that?

    Jar-jar Binks will turn out to be Boba Fett--Mark my words.