Subject: [FANFIC] Torpedo Spheres Rampant (was Re: Torpedo Sphere Rampage!) Date: Sat, 27 Oct 2001 23:50:03 -0700 From: Crayz9000 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars While drowning in alt.startrek.vs.starwars, "Paradox" found <1004232520.891627@globe.atl2.mindspring.net> on Sat, 27 Oct 2001 18:26:36 -0700... >*Starts getting bad image of fanfic called "Torpedo Sphere Rampant" QuickFic v1.0 A cheap program brought to you by Microsith Chapter One The torpedo sphere flew through hyperspace at over 5 billion C. Its captain was unaware that its hyperdrive had malfunctioned, which had the strange effect of catapulting it through the void between galaxies... Chapter Two "What do you mean, there's no Galactic Empire?" shouted Captain Nimrod, his face red with anger as he stared down Captain Jean-Luc Picard. The Starfleet captain simply sipped his Earl Grey, which was one of his hobbies. This enraged Captain Nimrod even more, and he pulled out a blaster and fired at Picard. Fortunately for the Starfleet captain, his polished dome reflected the shot off, to where it killed a nameless ensign. "Oh my God! They killed Reddie!" Picard exclaimed. "You heathen!" "Fine with you," Nimrod spat, reaching to his commlink. "Commence Operation Base-Delta-Zero." Chapter Three Our hero, Captain Nimrod, was aboard the USS Enterprise in an important diplomatic meeting... "Fine with you," Nimrod spat, reaching to his commlink. "Commence Operation Base-Delta-Zero." "What's that?" Picard curiously asked, his eyebrow twitching. Nimrod flicked on the viewscreen. "Watch." The torpedo sphere began firing its 500,000 tubes, presenting one-quarter of the sphere at the planet below at a time. Hundreds of thousands of torpedoes streaked down through Earth's atmosphere, their hundred- gigaton yields taking great chunks out of the coastlines and vaporizing entire oceans. Within one minute, the entire planet was a melted puddle of lava. Chapter Four "The obscenities! Millions lived there!" "What the fuck do I care, you ignorant Frenchman?" Nimrod spat as he walked off to his shuttle. He had a Federation to conquer. Then he paused, turned, and handed Picard a wrapped gift before boarding the shuttle. Chapter Five The 9 million teraton hypermatter bomb exploded as Picard unwrapped it. It took the Enterprise with it, and ruptured subspace for hundreds of light-years in all directions due to the nature of the substance. The torpedo sphere, however, was unaffected and flew away. Chapter Six A massive fleet- the remnants of the Federation Starfleet, four thousand in number - presented itself to Nimrod as he watched from the quantum crystalline-armored bridge of the torpedo sphere /Phoenix/. "Sir," a nameless crewman calmly stated, "we've got 8,300 torpedoes incoming." "Prepare to hyperjump on my mark," Nimrod ordered with a look of disgust on his face. He hated these Federation bastards, although he had no idea why. It might have had to do with the placement of the moon. Chapter Seven The torpedo sphere hyperjumped out of the way of the incoming missiles, which simply continued to fly through space, eventually self- destructing. Meanwhile, the sphere opened fire with all of its ports, and soon the Federation fleet was so much scrap. Chapter Eight. Captain Nimrod yawned. It was all in a day's work... and he had other things to do. Looking over his shoulder at the buxom blonde beside him, he smiled and stood up. "I'll be in my quarters. If the Romulans call, tell them that they may go fuck themselves, and that the only thing preventing me from smashing them is the need to shag." He took the arm of the blonde, and walked off while attempting to stick his other hand in her pants... -- Crayz9000 - - - - - - - - mhm28x12 UT: {AGUT}Freak'o'Nature http://asvsaa.8m.net/index2.html (ASVS Auxiliary Archive) http://crayz9000.htmlplanet.com/index2.html (Crayz9000's Hideout) "You can indict a ham sandwich." --Rita Cosby