From: jhansen007@aol.commodo (Ensign Jimmy) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Subject: Re: Do SW people prefer TOS? Date: 23 Jul 2000 02:50:22 GMT lordshaithis wrote: >Do Star Wars fans prefer the original Star Trek over the newer series? As Stone Cold sez: "Give me a big hell yeah!" >don't see those TNG wimps threatening the Empire. Data: "Captain, I have picked up a mile-long, vessel on our sensors. It is triangular in shape and outmasses ours by a factor of ten." Picard: "Hail them, Worf." Nameless Imperial Captain: "Attention unidentified vessel, this is the ISD Domination! You will surrender immediately or face destruction." ::Picard mutes the channel.:: Troi: "I feel they are arrogant and supremely confident." Picard ::Gives Troi pained look. Un-mutes.:: "This is all a terrible misunderstanding. Surely if we were to talk about this, we could come to some sort of agreement." Imperial Captain: "Ha hah hah hah! We don't negotiate with primitives . . . open fire!" *BOOM* >Kirk, on the other >hand, would figure out a way to somehow blow up the Death Star and get >laid at the same time. Uhura: "Captain! We're being hailed by an unknown vessel!" Kirk: "Spock... What...are...we...up...against?" Spock: "Fascinating, we seem to be headed toward a battle-station . . . the size of a small moon." Kirk: "Mister Sulu . . . take . . . us away from . . . the station! Raise . . . shields . . . arm phasers." Spock: "Inadvisable, captain. They have us caught in a tractor beam. I suggest we beam aboard as soon as we're close enough." ======= Commercial Break ========= Kirk: "Scotty . . . beam . . . us . . . down!" Scotty: "I canna violate the laws of physics! Their shields are simply too strong!" Kirk: "Scotty . . . you . . . will . . . find . . . a . . . way!" Bones: "Jim, let's take a shuttle . . . I don't want my molecules mixed with those of that damned green hobgoblin!" ::Kirk, Spock, Bones and a red-shirt board a shuttle . . . which is captured a'la Millenium Falcon and taken to a landing bay. As stormtroopers try to board the shuttle, the Feds come out swinging Kirk zaps two stormies with his phaser, gets it kicked out of his hand, then drop-kicks another stormie. Spock neck-pinches two others, and the red-shirt catches a thermal detonator and doesn't get rid of it in time.:: Bones: "He's dead Jim!" Kirk: "Spock . . . are you picking . . . up . . . anything?" Spock (Holding tricorder): "Yes, captain, there's a conveniently unguarded computer terminal about two decks down." ========= Commercial Break ======= Kirk: "Spock . . . find out a way to get . . . the Enterprise . . . free. Bones . . . help . . . him!" Bones: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a dot-com'er!" Spock: "Fascinating, it seems that an instability induced by a warhead of no less than one kiloton will destabilize the station's power source. Unfortunately, we'd have to drop it in an exhaust vent two meters wide." Kirk: "Spock . . . I . . . need . . . good . . . news!" Spock: "I have located the tractor-beam generator. A phaser on overload will overload the system enough to enable Enterprise to break free" Bones: "Are you out of your Vulcan mind? We need those phasers to get out of here." Spock: "It is highly improbable that we will be able to leave here alive. Furthermore, I have determined that this station has the power to destroy planets. Thus it is logical that we must sacrifice our lives to enable Enterprise to escape and warn Starfleet." Kirk: "There . . . comes . . . a time when . . . men must be willing . . . to pay the ultimate sacrifice." Nameless Female Scientist: (Hereby NFS) ::Aiming DL-44 pistol at Kirk.:: "Hold it right there! Sacrifice for what?" Kirk: "Sacrifice . . . to save . . . humanity . . . from this monstrosity. Technology . . . should be . . . turned to peace . . . and exploration . . . not . . . perverted . . . to ends . . . such as this station!" ::Knocks the DL-44 out of NFS's hand, takes her into his arms and kisses her passionately to cheesily romantic muzak.:: NFS ::Crying:: "You're right . . . I'll give you the self-destruct codes to the Death Star!" :: NFS tells Spock the codes, which he and Bones patch into the central computer, starting the self-destruction. They, Kirk and NFS run to the shuttle. NFS, in the tradition of all women Kirk ever loved, is prevented from starting a long-term relationship with Kirk via a blaster shot between the shoulders.:: Kirk: "NOOOO!!! Bones . . . you . . . must . . . save . . . her!" Bones: "Dammit, she's dead Jim! We've got to get out of here!" Spock: "That is most logical." Scotty (on communicator): "Captain! They've dropped the shields! I'm gonna beam ye aboard now!" ======== Commercial Break ======== Kirk: "Sulu . . . get . . . us . . . out of here . . . maximum warp!" Scotty: "I canna give ye that much engine power! We're gonna blow the beasties if we keep this up!" :: Scotty finds some way to get the power out of the dilithium crystals and Enterprise escapes just in time to avoid the cheesy Trek-style explosion of the DS. Everyone throws themselves to one side, then the other. Kirk makes up a random stardate and says some meaningful things about the Death Star in his log.:: You mean like that?:) The One, The Only: Retired Red-Shirt Jimmy