Subject: [Fanfic/Humor] ...Pesky Warsies Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 05:50:07 GMT From: pablo_sanchez2000@my-deja.com Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Finally, the answer to the question everyone* has been asking: "Where the f**k is all the f***ing Scooby Doo s**t!?!" Okay, not quite in those terms. Alright, maybe not at all. Whatever. Starring Pablo Sanchez as the "Shaggy" of the group Rob Dalton as the large, burly "Freddy" Chris O'Farrel as a sort of "Velma/Thelma/However the Hell you spell it" Weyoun The Dancing Borg as "Scooby Doo" And Introducing Big Steve as "Daphne" (NOTE: The casting of male characters is not meant to represent any non-heterosexual tendencies they may have.) (Actually, I'm not totally sure about Steve.) (Some of the stuff in his fanfics are pretty weird.) (Has he said anything to you?) --==-- [The Mystery Machine is cruising down a dark road in the middle of a forest of some time. Dalton is at the wheel, Steve seated beside him. Pablo, Weyoun, and Chris are in the back.] Pablo: Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about. Chris: No, _I'm_ serious. Give me the bong. Pablo: I don't have a bong. Chris: Then what's that in your pants? Pablo: I'm all man, man! Chris: [Kicks Pablo in the crotch. Sound of glass breaking] Pablo: OW!!! Son of a Bitch! Dalton: What's going on back there? Pablo: Chris broke my bong! Dalton: You have a bong? Pablo: I *had* one, right up until Mr. Crotch-Kicker here broke it! Weyoun: Rou rouldn't reep rit rin rour rants, Rablo! Pablo: What the f**k did you just say? Weyoun: Ri raid-- Pablo: Nevermind. Stupid f***ing troll. Shouldn't be talking in the first place. Steve: If you had a bong, why didn't you give me a hit? Pablo: 'Cause it was mine. Steve: Ever hear of sharing? Pablo: Not when I'm paying good moeny for something! [One of the tires on the Mystery Machine pops, forcing them to stop.] Pablo: [sarcastic] Let me guess. The front driver's side wheel, again! I should drive, not the Lump club member! Dalton: You can drive when you stop smoking pot. Pablo: F*** driving, man. [The gang exits the car] Chris: Dalton, you fix it. Dalton: Why me? Pablo: You popped it! Weyoun: Reah! Rou rould rix rit! Steve: I would probably agree, if it knew what the f*** the troll was saying. Dalton: Yeah, whatever. I'm doing it. [A black car pulls up, and Pablo waves it down. Out leaps an Evil Clown type person] Clown: WooOOoo!!!! HAHAHAH!! Pablo: What the f*** is that?!? Dalton: It's an evil clown! Everyone, scatter! [runs] Chris & Steve: [run] Pablo: Screw that. We've scattered the last 250 goddamn times! [Picks up a rock, and nails the clown in the head, dropping him to the ground] Damn straight! Chris: Jinkies! [Everyone turns and stares at Chris] Dalton: What did you just say? Chris: I'm not sure. It just slipped out. Pablo: Jinkies. Jinkies. Pretty weird catch phrase, man. [Scene cut. Two state troopers are cuffing the clown.] Dalton: Now to see who he really is! [Pulls the mask off of the clown] Dalton: [gasps] Old man Polinger!?! Pablo & Steve: Who? Chris: It's obvious. Elim was searching for the buried treasure, so he made up the legend of the Evil Clown to scare the townspeople away. The clues were the footprints at the old mill, and the puppeteer's strings at the shack. Pablo: Was I unconscious again? Steve: I don't think so. Elim: O'Farrel's right! And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you pesky warsies! Chris: Technically, I'm not a warsie! Elim: Oh yeah. Whatever. [Trooper's stuff him into the car] Weyoun: Reyoun Rancing Roooorrrg! Pablo: Damn trolls. --==-- It's late, and I am tired. That was pretty messed up, man.