Subject: [Fanfic] Always Look on the Bright Side of Life dodo, do do, dodo, dodo, do do Date: Sun, 17 Sep 2000 23:25:09 +1200 From: Spyda Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Two ensins exited Voyager's holodeck. "I dunno man, this is a pretty dangerous program." "Relax man, I'll code it. Computer, set password as crap-7-what's-your-birthday." "Good thinking man. They'll never guess that." "Thanks, now lets get back to binge drinking. I don't want to be sobre when the Captain makes another inspection." [6 Months later] Quickly Janeway and the others ran through the corridors of Voyager in a desperate attempt to escape from the Imperial Storm Troopers. "It's them! Blast them!" Yelled one of the armored soldiers. Red blasts carried down the corridor striking Neelix in the back. He fell to the ground in a clump screaming like a girl. "Why have I always got ot be the first to die?" He murmured with his dying breath. "Neelix..." Janeway sobbed. "Oh we'll get you another." Comforted Seven as her and Chahotay dragged Janeway into an open holodeck, hoping to hide from the storm troopers in there. Harry immediately tapped into the terminal in the holodeck and accessed the bridge controls. "They've broken into the system and changed our course." "Already?" Asked Paris. "Where are we going?" Janeway commanded, already forgetting about the death of the ships cook that took place not moments before. Harry ran a bipolar trace through the ships systems to the guidence console, followed by a level 12 diagnostic and a small barryonic sweep. He checked the data buffers and all the IO ports. All the information scrolled through the LCARS terminal. Harry continued running a background multiphasic scan. "Harry! Where are we going?" Harry continued tapping away at the terminal. He ran another sweep followed by a scan of all the bridge subsystems, starting with navigation. He began running through the navigation S/register subsystems. "Harry!" Harry turned away form the console and prepared a lengthy speech about Voyager's destination. "Forward." "They're in here!" Came a voice form outside. "Shit! What now?" Asked Chakotay. "Computer, run program...crap... Seven! What's your birthday?" Responded Janeway. Two Storm Troopers rushed in just as the scenery changed to downtown New York. "What the..." the trooper was cut off as a man in a green polyester suit emerged from an ally. He grined. The Voyager crew and the troopers smiled back uncomfortably. Seven thought it was quite odd that she was able to tell that they were smiling through their helmets. All of a sudden a very disturbing form of music started playing. "Can't touch this..." "What?" They all said in unisen at the man in green's remark. "Can't touch this..." He said again as he started moving in a way that someone usually does when tasting Neelix's food on a bad day. The rest looked on, not quite sure what to make of this. "Can't touch this..." "Dear God...NO!" Yelled Chakotay as he hid behind Seven. "It's HAMMER! The lord of pain is back to destroy us all. Lord have mercy!!" "My, my, my, my! This hit's me, so hard, makes me think oh my lord!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" They all yelled as they ran for cover. "GET BACK!!! STAY AWAY!!" Yelled one of the troopers. "Help! Make it stop! Yelled Harry with his hands firmly clasping his ears. "Thank you, for blessin' me with a mind to run and a..." "AHHHHHHHH!!" Yelled one of the troopers as he started firing in all directions. MC Hammer collapsed to the ground, dead. And so did Janeway, Harry, Chakotay, and the troopers partner. The trooper dropped his gun and fell to his knees, he removed his helmet to reveal sweat pouring down his face. He was breathing just as he did the time the lift broke down in the Executor and he had to run 13 kilometers to and from his post. Tears began to stream from his eyes as Seven gentally patted him on the back. "It's ok. It's alright now." "It was horrible." "I know...shhhh." "Hammertime!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -- "You stole my sig you fag!" -Rob Dalton