Subject: [Humour/Adventure] The Banana Republic of Trekkios, Part One.
From: Commander Thelea
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2000 22:06:16 -0800


 Notes: This is designed to be humourous, ect, ect, don't take
this seriously or personally. All in good fun.


The men of the seventh commando ALERT team and the ninth
commando ALERT team filed into the their briefing room, a
grizzled veteran of a Colonel, Colonel Wong, looking at them.
The ALERTs were new units, formed out of the best of various
commando services, including that of the British SAS, and
trained together for two years, rigourously, to form ten-man
fighting units with a cohesiveness and capability unrivaled in
the world. Leading the Seventh was Major January, a vicious
looking, scarred professional killer, one of the best in the
buisness. The intimidating, long-haired in defiance of
regulations Major Poe led the Ninth. Their seconds were Captains
Yates and Sonnenburg, respectively. "Gentlemen.. I'll be short,
and to the point," he said, as they sat down. "The CIA has
confirmed that the People's Republic of Trekkios has been able
to successfully produce thermonuclear weapons and IRBMs capable
of hitting the southern United States." There was a stirring in
the room, but Major January held up his hand, and the men fell
silent. Colonel Wong continued. "In addition to this, a series
of purges, and repeated ethnic cleansing campaigns against the
Bayloniva Indians have given the United States no choice.
Earlier today, the President received permission from the UN
Security Council to send Peace Keepers to The People's Republic
of Trekkios to protect the Bayloniva Indians from further
attempts at ethnic cleansing, and to oversee the dismantling of
any nuclear devices in the possession of The People's Republic
of Trekkios. The British Navy and Army will be assisting us in
this endeavour."

 Major Poe spoke up then. "And what is our exact mission in
this, sir? If you're sending Peacekeepers in..." Colonel Wong
smiled grimly. "The People's Republic of Trekkios has one of the
most powerful militaries in Central America. Their military
actually is larger and better equipped than Cuba's, and some of
their troops have combat experience from an abortative war with
Venezuela in '98. We fully expect a fight.. And if they have
those IRBMs linked to a 'Reflex Action' command system... They
have to be knocked out before the landings. In addition.. You're
to knock out the ruling council that has control of the
missiles." Sonnenburg's question was asked softly. "Terminate?"
One nod. "Terminate." Wong cleared his throat, and turned on a
projector, which showed a picture of a bearded Hispanic
man. "This is the Dictator of Trekkios, and the leader of the
Trekkios Communist Party. His name is unknown.. He merely refers
to himself as 'El Professoro'." The ALERTS listened intently,
taking notes and studying the face, until another one came
up. "This is Ivan Timofeyvich Jones, a former Marshall in the
KGB, who is now working as El Professoro's advisor. He is
exceptionally dangerous and skilled in knife-fighting and
unarmed combat, despite being in his early fifties. If you have
to take him down from close range.. Be damned careful." Another
picture came up. "This is Juan Martinez Wardo. He's
the 'Minister of Justice' for Trekkios, and one sick bastard.
He's the one responsible for many of the purges and ethnic
cleansing.. Potentially tens of thousands are dead thanks to
this fucker." Another picture, this time of a English-looking
man with old style Australian outback clothes and a nasty
expression on his face. "This is Graham Kennedy.. Former Captain
in the British Army, given a dishonourable discharge for
unspecific reasons. Wanted by Interpol and the governments of
dozens of countries for Arms Dealing, and suspected of smuggling
nuclear materials out of the former USSR to Iran. We believe
he's been advising the 'Revolutionary Council' of Trekkios and
providing arms to beef up their military power after that war
with Venezuela." The picture changed to an odd looking short guy
in a gaudy military uniform. "This is Supreme Marshall El Boydo.
We believe he's a holdover from the previous regime, which is
highly unusual, and is definetly the most moderate person on
the 'Revolutionary Council'. He commands all of Trekkios'
military forces, and unlike the others, if possible, spare his
life. We think he'd be reasonable in reaching a settlement, and
it would be worthwhile to have a government figure who supports
us still alive when the Peace Keepers assume control. However,
the goal of keeping nuclear devices from being launched against
the US is paramount, so take him down if you have to." Only a
shadey, long-distance, blurred picture was for the next
one. "This is the best look we have of the man referred to
as 'Skinny Hulk'. He's a mysterious figure who's apparently the
head of the Trolloio Cartel, one of the largest Cocaine and
Marijuana growing and smuggling cartels currently in existance.
This guy is ripping the hearts and souls out of addicted
Americans everywhere, and he loves doing it. He's closely allied
with El Professoro and the Trekkios government, as Trekkios is
where most of the Cartel's operations are based." Another
picture came up, this of a Frenchman apparently shouting
something at a rally. "This is Paul Jacques. Former director of
the French Communist Party, and a Major in the French Airforce,
a warrant for his arrest was issued in response to three car
bombings in Paris and an abortative Sarin nerve-gas attack on
the Paris Subway System. He then fled to Trekkios and was made
the Air Marshall of their current Air Force." Then another
picture came in, of a slightly overweight, balding slavic
man. "And this Anton Emmetovich Polinger. A former Soviet
Nuclear Physicist, and at one time the director of the Chernobyl
nuclear powerplant. He's the one responsible for The People's
Republic of Trekkios' nuclear warhead program, and a known risk-
taker when it comes to nuclear materials. He was responsible for
the Chernobyl incident, and though we know he can build the
bombs Trekkios has, it's undoubtable that hundreds or even
thousands of innocent workers were contaminated with radiation
by his incompetence when it comes to reactor safety. And that,
gentlemen, is the list of the people who are the power behind
this tyrranical regime. Your target is as follows." A map came
up on the projector, along with a picture of a huge, sprawling
villa and a small military installation.. With rather
conspicious super-hardened nuclear silos in it, high on a
mountain top. "This is the Worker's Villa, headquarters of the
Trekkios Communist Party and essentially the central command
center for the entire country. All of your targets are here,
including the nuclear missiles. The moutanside is very rough,
and the mountain it's self quite tall. There's extensive
underground facilities below the Villa to allow the rulers of
the country to survive a nuclear counter-attack, with various
escape tunnels. I'll now review in detail the defences and your
insertion point."

 As Colonel Wong finished with the details, he concluded the
briefing. "You're going in three hours before the Airstrikes
begin. At the same time, the recently re-activated Battleships
Wisconsin and Iowa will begin a shore-bombardment of the landing
zone. You MUST have those missiles disabled before the
Airstrikes begin, gentlemen. One hour after the Airstrikes
begin, which will be based from the continental US, the Carriers
Enterprise, Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, and the British
VSTOL carriers Invincible and Illustrious. Also, the Marine
Amphibious Assault Ships Kearsarge and Bataan will provide
additional Harriers, and will send in the first troops to land..
Two Marine Regiments. After they secure the Beach, the US Third
Armoured Division will go ashore along with two British Army
regiments. To support the initial landing, two regiments of
Paratroopers will be dropped behind the beach head as the first
Marines begin landing operations. Finally, the First Air Cavalry
and the Fourth Air Cavalry will be providing elements to sieze
several key installations on the Island. You will meet up with
one such detachment at the village of El Huazo after completion
of your mission, and await pickup later that day.  The mission
is in three weeks, gentlemen. Goodluck."

 Three Weeks Later.

 It was Now Time, thought Major January as he surveyed the other
nine ALERTs in his team. Yates.. Earl, his nickname "Hit-Man"...
Kynes, Tierce, All of them, the best. Having trained rigourously
for the past three weeks, they were ready, and only minutes from
now they'd board their helicopters to head for the island and
commie Republic of Trekkios, and fight.. And maybe die, in
defence of freedom. As he stood on the slightly rolling deck of
the USS Enterprise, he glanced over, and saw Major Poe
inspecting his own men.. Some of them he recognized, Sonnenburg,
Sheppard, Dalton, Phong... He glanced at his watch. It was time.
He turned to his men. "Alright... You're all in order. Good
work, men. Man your chopper! Let's go kick some ass!" The men
came to attention and saluted. "Yes Sir!" was the chorus, and
Michael January also heard it from Poe's ALERTs, as the two
teams headed towards the two Black Hawks, already warming up,
their commanders following, four Super Cobras, their rotors
turning, preparing to escort them in. They were all feeling a
rush of blood, the anticipation of combat, and the chance to see
the rewards of their training, but they all kept it under
control. Training was what won missions, not pure rage. Still,
January grinned darkly. They were going to be hell of a surprise
for that half-assed dictator 'El Professoro'. What the fuck kind
of name was that, anyway? With a chuckle and a shake of his
head, he leaped up into the Blackhawk.