Subject: [FANFIC] SD.Net TGTW Version 2.0!
Date: 16 Sep 2002 15:34:07 -0700
From: big_red901@hotmail.com (CaptainSheridan)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars




Fixed out all those annoying problems.




Star destroyer.net the great troll war 

By Grand Admiral Thrawn (a.k.a. Captain Sheridan) Title by NecronLord

 Star Destroyer.net is peaceful place where everyone lived happily.
 Yeah right.



Lord Mike Wong sat on his thrown, overlooking the land of Star
Destroyer. The great author Stravo stood handing out his latest fan
fic at high prices. The great Flame Warriors passed through towns,
watching for any troll. And though it sickened him to watch, DarkStar
spewed his ignorance everywhere, at all evaded him.

 "My lord!" 2000AD yelled and was running into the room, breathing
heavily. "It's Sith God!"

 "What about that moron? He's banned." Lord Wong replied.

 "Yes, but he stands outside our land, preying on innocent travelers.
Shall I send a few Flame Warriors to slay him?"

 "No. We can spare none. Not with the growing stupidity I feel in the
distance. Send a few others."

 2000AD nodded. "I shall send Captain Cyran and Straha." And he then
turned and left, seeking out the two who would hunt down the troll.

 Lord Wong sighed and returned to the window. A great stupidity was
definitely growing. The return of a troll proved it. And he felt a
presence he had not felt for years, but he did not know who it was.



Straha and Cyran rode on horseback towards the outskirts of SD. They
both looked uncomfortable with their new armor and weapons, much
heavier then there own. They did however grow to like it. As the power
and look of the Moderators grew thinner as they began to get closer to
the edge of SD more trolls attacked them. Many blows would have done
far more damage had Lord Wong not equipped them with new gear.

 At last they reached the edge of SD.net.  There was even a convenient
sign saying "Now leaving SD.net"

 And there they found Sith God. He was spamming at innocent passing
civilians. Terrified of the troll they ran screaming away. Sith God
smiled then started to laugh like a raging maniac. But when he saw
them in their armor his smile disappeared. He focused on their large
swords, and his laughter turned to fear.

 "Prepare to meet your doom foul creature!" Cyran yelled.

 But Sith God wasn't ready for his doom just yet. He ran. The two
warriors went after him. Straha stopped briefly and fired off two
arrows. The first hit a tree near Sith God and he laughed. But the
second arrow nailed his shoulder and he slowed and fell.

 "Now that we've stopped him, we can slay this troll and be done,"
Straha said. Both of them drew their swords and approached him.

 "You thik you can beet mme? Hahaha, you wil di!" Sith God with so
much stupidity it could actually be heard. He fired spam at Cyran. He
ducked and blocked it with his shield.  Straha tried to sneak up on
Sith God and slice him in two. But he heard Straha sneaking up and let
loose spam right in his face.

 As Straha screamed and fell, Sith God said, "Hahaha, seee? I amm
invicibl!" But without any spam to block, Cyran could attack. Sith God
only had a small sword to fight with. Cyran slashed, and it went
flying. Sith God backed away slowly, then fell to the ground.

"Pleaz, spar me!" Sith God begged. For a moment, Cyran wavered. In
another moment he would have convinced himself to kill the troll. But
one moment was all Sith God needed. He attacked him with a bit of spam
and he fell.  Sith God began to run. But he had forgotten about
Straha. He fired an arrow right into his leg. And when Sith God
stopped. And Cyran rose and stabbed him. Sith God fell off the sword.

 "Ha, we have slain this foul creature," Straha said. "And without any
wounds other then this disgusted Spam. Lord Wong shall be pleased.
We-"

 Straha stopped. Cyran was about to ask why until he saw for himself.
There were trekkies. Countless trekkies. All heading towards them.

 "Quick Cyran, we must leave!" Straha stated.

 "We can't. They'd cut us down in an instant. You go. I'll slow them
down enough for you to escape." Cyran replied.

 "But you'll be killed! We'll both stay."

 "No. If I stay, I'll die yes. But you'll survive. If we both stay or
go, we both die," Cyran said sadly.

 "Very well," Straha said. He turned to head towards the horses, then
smashed his shield on Cyran's helmet. He collapsed on the floor. "You
go. I'll stay" And he dragged him to his horse. Soon he was on it, and
the horse heading back to Star Destroyer.net.

 Straha sighed and turned to face the trekkies. So many trekkies. He
drew his sword, took a deep breath, and charged them.

 "Where the hell are they?" Lord Wong asked. "It doesn't take this
long to kill such a weak troll and return."

 "Uh, maybe they can't find the little git my lord," 2000AD guessed.
"I doubt he'd simply stand and fight. Probably ran off like a little
girl."

 "Perhaps. However-"

 "My lord, there they are!" 2000AD interrupted looking out the window.
"Wait. There are two horses, but only one has a rider. It's Cyran.
He's not moving."

 "What, is he dead?" Lord Wong asked.

 "Nope, he's breathing." 2000AD replied.

 "How is this possible? Cyran is unconscious. The only reason Straha
wouldn't come back, especially with his comrade injured, would be if
he were knocked out or dead. There is no way Sith God could ever do
that."

 "My Lord, I shall have Cyran treated immediately. Perhaps he has some
answers."

 "After he is awake and in good shape, bring him to me."


 Cyran awoke confused. He was taken to a black castle that he couldn't
first remember as Lord Wong's. He thought Trekkies had captured him
and were taking him to his doom. He recognized too many faces for them
to all be captured.

 His injuries were little more then scraps and bruises. He was led to
Lord Wong. He was nervous to come before the of greatest Flame
Warriors of all. He bowed before him.

 "Arise Captain Cyran. And tell what has happened to Straha? Has he
been slain by the foul troll Sith God?" Lord Wong asked.

 "No my Lord, a weakling like him could have never killed him. Bur I
fear he was slain anyway," Cyran said sadly.

 "Go on and tell your tale."

 "Yes my Lord. We slew Sith God quite easily. But before we could
return to Star Destroyer.net, we were attacked by a large group of
Trekkies. He knocked me and that is my last memory before awaking
here."

 "How many trekkies? Is there any chance that Straha could have
survived?" Lord Wong asked.

 "I do not remember the exact number. But sadly, there is little
chance he's alive. But we must make sure," Cyran said.

 "Agreed. We must make sure he is dead, or rescue him if he's alive.
Take a team of Flame Warriors to deal with any trekkies that dare
attack. Bring Dalton and Master of Ossus."

 Cyran, MoO and Dalton journeyed to where Straha fought the trekkies.
Cyran was in awe of the skill of the Flame Warriors. They struck down
any troll or trekkie who even got close. The length of the trip was
far shorter then the first, with the fights lasting only a moment.

 Soon they were at the site. Scores of trekkies lied dead. Cyran
briefly thought Straha had somehow killed them all. But his hopes were
crushed when he saw Straha lying on a tree. Many arrows lay in him.
His armor was pierced by swords and smashed by clubs. His chest moved
slowly.

 "Straha!" screamed Cyran, and he ran towards him. MoO and Dalton
followed him.

"AmI still alive or are we both dead?" Straha said weakly.

 "You're still alive. What happened?" Cyran asked.

 "After I knocked you out I faced the trekkies. I slew so many but
they kept on coming. Then this huge warrior in black came. I was so
hurt I could barely hold my sword. But I managed to get an arrow off
at him. It....bounced of his armor. He struck at me. I blocked but my
sword shattered." Straha gestured to a broken sword near him. "I
couldn't run. He he stabbed me. It was like being hit by a mountain.
He laughed insanely. Then he"

 "Straha? Straha?"

 But he said no more. His chest heaved once more slowly then was
still.


Chapter 2 


"Poor bastard," MoO said solemnly. "We must return quickly. Trekkies
rarely leave their dead."

"Go," Dalton responded. "I'm not returning to SD with you. When the
Trekkies return I shall follow them and find who has sent them."

"But what if they find you?" asked Cyran. "If we all go, they
wouldn't-"

"GO!" commanded Dalton. "If we all go, do you know what will happen?" 

Cyran shook his head. 

"I'll tell you what will happen," Dalton began. "WE GET CAUGHT AND DIE
YOU IDIOT!"

"He's right," MoO said. "Now we must return immediately. Trolls often
return to where they attack."

As Dalton rode off, MoO and Cyran prepared to return. MoO laid down
his sword as he picked up the now limp body of Straha and placed it on
his sword. He turned to pick up his sword.

And a wall of Trekkie archers surrounded him. 

MoO froze. He saw Cyran do the same. He swore under his breath. They'd
been waiting for someone to find Straha. If he tried to grab his
sword, all he'd get was a chest of arrows. MoO prepared to leap. If he
died, he would take a few of them with him. He targeted a Trekkie
whose size and armor revealed him to be the Captain. He held a bow
with an arrow. The Captain prepared to release the arrow, and MoO was
ready to grab his sword.

And the Captain's body fell headless. The arrow flew off, missing MoO
by millimeters, and striking Cyran in the shoulder.

MoO saw a Flame Warrior in shining armor behind the fallen body. This
mysterious Warsie wasted no time and began slicing at Trekkies left
and right. MoO grabbed his sword and attacked as well. He stabbed one,
decapitated another. The rest ran.

MoO turned to the Warrior. "Thank you for saving us. But who are you?"

"I," the Warsie began, "am Aron Kerkhof, troll slayer." 

"Ugh!" cried Cyran. 

MoO had forgotten about his wounded companion. He and Aron quickly ran
over. Cyran's shoulder was bleeding heavily.

"Ouch, bad wound," Aron cringed. He lifted up Cyran and through him
over his shoulder. "I was watching you. I heard something about going
to Star Destroyer?"

MoO nodded. "Yes. And we must hurry. Cyran looks pretty hurt." 

Cyran awoke in pain. He glanced at his shoulder, where the pain
originated from, and saw it bandaged.

"Wha-what happened?" He said, sitting up. 

MoO saw him move and rushed over. "After you passed out, Aron and I
had to rush you back to Star Destroyer. Now, if you are well enough to
walk, we must go to see Lord Wong."

Cyran nodded and slowly rose to his feet. 2000AD led them to Lord
Wong's chambers. They all went on their knees.

"Rise my friends. Tell your tale." 

Once they told their tale, Lord Wong said, "Leave us Cyran. Your role
in this war is done." When Cyran left Lord Wong continued, "Now MoO,
come. I shall hold a meeting of the Moderators."

They went into a secret chamber. There, a table held the Mods of Star
Destroyer. David the monkey, eating a banana. Pablo, twiddling his
mustache and muttering things in Russian.

"Sit MoO. There is much to discuss. Much has changed since you left,"
Lord Wong began, "I have banned Dark Star. His stupidity shall no
longer plague our forums." MoO smiled, but it faded when he saw Lord
Wong's expression. "This is not all good news. Now Dark Star is
focusing his eye on ASVS. His strengths grows as flocks of idiotic
Trekkies head to his lair. Soon, ASVS will be attacked. I have
foreseen it."

"What can we do Lord Wong?" MoO asked. 

"That's why I asked you here. You must journey to the great land of
Saxton and get a copy of the SWTC. I shall help in the fight against
the Trekkies. When you retrieve it, head to ASVS and help the Flame
Warriors there. As soon as I am ready, I shall join you."

Before MoO could utter a reply, Sea Skimmer rushed in. He carried
double crossbows, a long sword and a short sword, a small knife. He
carried Dalton who was unconscious on his shoulder. Sea Skimmer laid
him on the table. Dalton stirred and his eyes opened.

"Uh, hi Lord Wong. It was terrible the Trekkie land was. No donuts as
far as the eye could see. And it was Dark Star who killed Straha. No
wonder he was so beat up."

"Are you well enough Dalton?" Lord Wong asked. When he nodded, he
continued, "then you must go with them to Saxton. Sea Skimmer, MoO,
Kerkhof and Crayz9000 shall go with you."

"And if Dark Star attacks ASVS before we return?" Crayz asked 


"Well Crayz," Lord Wong began, "you'd better hurry to make sure that
doesn't happen."

And after a quick salute, the five set off.


Chapter 3 

"Dum dum dum dum dum..." Dalton sung, waving his sword as he walked. 

"Shut up man!" Kerkhof said, giving him a not to light whack on the
head with his sword. "You could bring down an army with that horrible
voice."

"Why I outta-argh!" Dalton fell with an arrow in his hand. And from
the arrows direction came a pack of angry Trekkies.

Sea Skimmer brought up his crossbows and fired. As he fell back to
reload, Kerkhof charged. He jumped and fell on a Trekkie who didn't
even get a chance to scream before a sword was plunged into his skull.
Kerkhof quickly pulled it out and decapitated a Trekkie who had his
blade raised to attack. He spun around and blocked a strike aimed at
his knee. He kicked the Trekkie who had attacked in the face, sending
him crashing into two others.

Sea Skimmer was not doing as well. MoO and Dalton has charged into the
growing mass of Trekkies, slicing at them left and right. Crayz had
jumped onto a rock, giving him a clear view of the Trekkies and was
shooting arrows at them rapidly; often one who was threatening his
companion. But that left Skimmer all alone. His crossbows took a while
to reload. He brought them up and fired, slaying the two nearest
trekkies. He Realized he didn't have the time to reload both, so he
threw away the second.

"Damnit," Sea Skimmer said angrily. His crossbow had jammed. A Trekkie
saw an opportunity and plunged his sword into the crossbow, leaving
Sea Skimmer temporarily unarmed.

"Ha!" said the Trekkie and he pulled his sword out of the ruined
weapon and prepared to impale the weaponless Flame Warrior. Sea
Skimmer smashed the Trekkie's face with his fist and heard bones
crunch. He went flying into a group of Trekkies and knocked down his
own companions.

"Ha yourself moron," Sea Skimmer said the fallen Trekkie. He pulled
out his short and long swords and slashed at the horde of Trekkies
coming towards him. One Trekkie had himself speared in the neck.
Another was slashed on the chest, opening a large mortal wound. But
they kept on coming. Sea Skimmer slew two Trekkies and tossed them at
the rest, taking down eight others. But finally a Trekkie got through,
and his blade pierced Sea Skimmer's back armor.

Sea Skimmer turned and decapitated the Trekkie who had stabbed him.
But with a gurgle, he collapsed to the ground. Kerkhof saw him fall
and rushed towards him. But a wall of Trekkies blocked him. Crayz
however had been sniping away at a distance. He put down his bow and
drew his sword and charged towards the Trekkies. One had his sword
raised over Sea Skimmer, ready to finish off the large fighter. But
the Trekkie saw himself fall way from his legs when Crayz cut him in
half.

"Get up you big oaf!" Crayz urged to Sea Skimmer. But he was too hurt
to respond, much less getting up. So Crayz was forced to slice at
Trekkies left and right for he could not retreat and leave the
defenseless Sea Skimmer.

But fortunately Kerkhof had broken through the wall of bodies stopping
him. The Trekkies who had been unable to do anything other then charge
at Crayz and die were dismayed to find themselves being hacked to
pieces from behind.

There were little survivors from Crayz and Kerkhof's attacks and fewer
still survived MoO and Dalton. The survivors fled, running like madmen
to escape.

Sea Skimmer's vision was blurry. He heard noises. They might have been
voices but he could not understand them. He saw a large shape pick up
his body. He tried to say something but instead he fell into darkness.


"Get up you lazy pig," Dalton commanded. Sea Skimmer slowly rose to
his feet. He turned his head to view the large wound. But there was
nothing but a gap in his armor.

"What-" Sea Skimmer began. 

"Hahaha, don't you know I'm an excellent healer. That wound ain't
nothing but a bad memory now. Now let's go catch up to the others.
They're uh…"discussing" something's." Dalton and Sea Skimmer ran
up to MoO, Crayz and Kerkhof just in time to hear their "discussion."

"I'm telling you," Kerkhof argued, "we should have followed the
surviving Trekkies and wiped them out."

"And just leave Sea Skimmer to die? I think not," retorted Crayz. 

"Please. Dalton could have stayed What did you or I do to help him?
Absolutely nothing. Dalton was the one who did everything. We could
have gone and they them out."

"Why?" asked MoO. "Just so you can make sure a few more Trekkies bite
the dust and your kill count rises a tiny bit? Kinda and it'll delay
us from reaching Saxton."

"Okay, maybe I wanted to slay a few more Trekkies," Kerkhof admitted.
"But I had another far better reason."

"Which is?" Crayz asked. 

"Which is," Kerkhof began, "those Trekkies didn't just go 'hey, let's
go attack them.' Someone sent them. And they're going to go and report
to that someone. And I think he'll send more Trekkies to kill us."

"How do you know they weren't random Trekkies? Did they have any
symbols on their armor?" MoO inquired.

"Actually, yes." Kerkhof pulled out a small piece of armor with
strange markings on it and handed it to MoO. And when he saw it, his
face turned pale.

"What is it MoO?" Sea Skimmer asked. 

"It...says G2K," MoO managed. "That stands for Guardian 2000. AKA...
Dark Star."


"Well that sucks," Kerkhof said, breaking the silence. "He knows we're
here. Be prepared for attacks bigger then that one ten fold."


"Wow Kerkhof, aren't you cheery," Dalton said sarcastically. 

"Really? And people say I'm gloomy," Kerkhof replied, returning the
sarcasm.

"Oh shut up you two," interrupted MoO. "You're more vicious at each
other then you are at the Trekkies."

Before the two could respond, Crayz shouted, "LOOK!" 

On top of a hill behind hind them, stood a group of Trekkies. But it
wasn't just a group. It was an army. More and more Trekkies began to
appear an endless swarm of idiots.


At Star Destroyer, Lord Wong was quite impatient. 

"Blast it, what is taking it so long?!" Lord Wong said angrily. 

"My Lord," 200AD replied, "it's construction is very delicate work. It
will take time if you want it perfect."

"Yes I know. But if it isn't completed soon, my perfect weapon against
Dark Star shall have to be used against a Trekkie controlled ASVS!"

"Then you believe Aron Kerkhof and the others will fail?" 2000AD
asked.

"No. But it's a long way from here to TC to ASVS. By the time they get
there with the SWTC, Dark Star may have conquered half of it." Wong
said. "And…"

"And what my lord?" 200AD said. 

"I have a very bad feeling they're going to run into trouble." 


"Shit! Down!" Kerkhof yelled as arrows pasted inches from his head.
The group quickly took cover behind a rock before the Trekkies could
hit them. Kerkhof surveyed his surroundings. There was a forest that
could give cover from arrows nearby. But it might as well have been a
while way. For by the time the Warriors could get half way there,
they'd have a back full of arrows. Thing were looking grim.

"HOLD YOUR FIRE!" A voice commanded. Kerkhof and the others slowly
raised their heads to see who had shouted. A large Trekkie stood in
the middle of the battalion of Trekkies. "Surrender Warsies, and we'll
spare your lives. If you don't…I'll put your heads on spikes and
give them to Dark Star."

"How about this," Kerkhof replied. "You stop sniping at us with your
arrows and come down and face us you gutless cowards!"

"Fine then. But I'll make sure to decapitate you very slowly. And
you'll be alive until the bloody end. CHARGE!"

"Lovely negotiating skills there Aron," MoO said. 

"Just shut up and FIGHT!" Kerkhof shouted. He charged at the Trekkie
Captain who he had yelled at.

The Trekkie Captain ran towards Kerkhof as well, full of confidence.
He brought his sword down, trying to cut Kerkhof in two. But that
confidence turned to shock and Kerkhof deflected the blow and stabbed
the Trekkie in the chest. He pulled his blade out and as the Trekkie
fell to his knees clutching his wound, decapitated him. He moved to
find other targets.

"DIE TREKKIE SCUM!" Dalton roared. He wielded double clubs and swung
them left and right. Some Trekkies flew into the air. Others were
smashed into bloody messes. And some were crushed into the ground with
their skulls broken. Anyone who dared to get near him was dead before
he could attack.

Crayz was moving around swiftly, stopping only to let off an arrow at
a few random Trekkies he saw. Sea Skimmer charged, cutting down any
Trekkie in his path. Meanwhile MoO ran to Kerkhof, slashing left and
right at the hordes of Trekkies blocking his path.

"We have to go Kerkhof!" MoO shouted, dodging a blade and slicing
upwards, sending a Trekkie flying.

"Why? We can slay a bunch of them and split once they can bring their
numbers against us," Kerkhof asked. He impaled a Trekkie in front of
him. But the Trekkie fell on top of him instead of falling back.
Squashed under the weight of the large Trekkie, Kerkhof managed to
grab the dead Trekkie's spear and throw it through the neck of a
Trekkie advanced upon him. He finally managed to push the slain
Trekkie off. He then slashed at the legs of another idiot and with a
mighty kick sent the wounded man flying. Finally Kerkhof pulled
himself off the ground and continued fighting.

"Think tactically Aron," MoO replied. "This is a game of chess with
five kings versus a lot of pawns. They're surrounding us so we cannot
escape. Then they simply throw fighters at us until we tire and then
we die. Quite simple."

Kerkhof blocked yet another blow and simply punched the Trekkie,
knocking him out cold. "Apparently killing that Trekkie Captain made
me a big target," he said as he spun to avoid a thrust of a Trekkie's
sword. "I haven't had time to think. Let's go shall we?"

"Great idea. Sea Skimmer, Dalton, time to leave!" MoO shouted, running
through Trekkies.

"Don't yell out our plan!" Kerkhof complained. 

"They would know in a second anyway." MoO slew a Trekkie in front of
him and was out of the horde of Trekkies. Sea Skimmer, Crayz and
Kerkhof soon followed.

Dalton did not. His large size slowed him down. Frustrated as the
endless wall of Trekkies, he threw his clubs. A group of Trekkies
collapsed from his huge weapons and revealed freedom. Running like he
never had before, he managed to catch up to the others.

"Quick, to the forest before their archers cut us down!" Crayz said.
Soon trees surrounded them.

After running for what seemed like days, Sea Skimmer stated, "Aron,
you think we lost them?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Kerkhof replied. "But I think we did. A-" The
rest of his words were cut of when five arrows nearly struck MoO in
the head.

"I guess that answers your question doesn't it?" MoO said, angry at
the fact he was almost killed. "Let's go that way!" He pointed to the
left.

"You have no idea where that leads!" Dalton complained 

"Better then getting shot at!" And so the group followed MoO deeper
into the forest.

Crayz decided that he needed to slow down the Trekkies. Quickly, he
put an arrow to his bow and fired. He wasn't sure but he thought he
heard a faint thud. Seeing the edge of the forest he ran and
accidentally slammed into the unmoving Dalton.

Crayz said, "hey man what are you doing? I mean, I might have taken
out one troll but there's a small army chasing us! It doesn't matter
if we exited the forest. It'll just make it easier for them to find
us! Guys?"

But no one was moving or talking to him. They just stared. 

"Guys, what the hell are you..." Crayz stopped when he finally saw
over Dalton to what they were staring at. "Oh."

The great city of Technical Commentaries lay in front of them.