Subject: Re: Hi Date: Sun, 03 Nov 2002 05:32:21 GMT From: Supreme Commander Tyralak Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Dalton wrote in news:3DC4764D.1639E108@daltonator.net: > Supreme Commander Tyralak wrote: >> >> Dalton wrote in >> news:3DC36B7C.52E4C337@daltonator.net: >> >> > Supreme Commander Tyralak wrote: >> >> >> >> "WeeMadAndo" wrote in >> >> news:apq3cp$41r0r$1@ID-21694.news.dfncis.de: >> >> >> >> > How ya doin group. Aint it about time this whole issue got >> >> > resolved now!!!! >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> >> >> Which issue? Oh, the one about weather or not that round thing >> >> perched on your shoulders is a boil or a giant wart? >> >> >> > >> > Hey, where ya been? >> > >> >> Sorry,things have been hectic lately.I haven't had much time. Let >> alone enough time to keep up with the sheer amount of raw sewage >> posted here daily. Although, I missed my daily dose of lunacy, so >> I've been trying to catch up ;) >> > > Come now, I'm sure you have a better excuse than THAT. ;) > How about this: I was captured by aliens, taken to their homeworld, and forced to do anal probes of members of various other captured civilizations.That kept me pretty busy, plus their sub-space link to USENET was being repaired, so I was unable to acsess my ISP. Later they took me home, but on the way, I talked them into letting me drive their ship. Well, needless to say, I crashed it on a planet full of disgusting creatures with 12 asses, and terrible flatulance problems. Just before we succomed to fart poisoning, I synthisized a compund similar to BEANO, and dispersed it into the water supply. This calmed things down long enough for us to steal one of their FartShips. (since ours was broken) Unfortunatly, we found out that the powerfull engines were run entirely on methane gas. (judging from the absence of fuel tanks, and some suspicious holes in the pilot seats, linked to tubing going to the engine room.) So, in order to lift off, I was forced to whip up a batch of pork and beans cooked in Jack Daniels, and smothered in soy sauce, with a large healping of cabbage. After supper, we sat in the pilot seats, and went to work powering up the engines. The smell was sickning, and the atmosphere inside the ship took on a green tinge before long. However, we were strangly able to get far more horsepower out of those engines than they were meant to deliver. Which impressed the 12 assed aliens to no end, and is the only reason they didn't shoot us down. We soon realized that we couldn't continue flying in the FartShip, mainly because we had exhausted our supply of pork and beans. So we docked at a nearby shipyard to trade our ship in for one with a different power source. I thought we would have trouble with the owners of the shipyard, since they looked like a rough bunch of characters. However, we found out that the 12 assed aliens (known as "Scatgrells" to the locals) were greatly feared in the region. So, without hesitation, they gave us one of their best ships in exchange for the fart ship. After the transaction was complete, they sent a hazmat team over to disinfect the ship (which the manager said would take the better part of a week) We were then sent on our way. The two aliens I was travelling with, known as Karslez-trin- bigzerpatz-rin-troberspaz, and his brother Joe declined to let me drive for some reason. After we entered orbit and they dropped me off at my house, they walked back to their ship muttering something about Terrans, and how his uncle was right that there really was no intellegent life on Earth. Then I went into the house, logged on to my ISP, and went to catch up on my ASVS. How's that? -- Tyralak, Supreme Commander Of The Imperial Romulan Warbird, Psionax Troll Hunter For Hire Official ASVS Token Trekkie Please Visit Troll University (Under Construction) www.trolluniversity.alturl.com [END SUBSPACE TRANSMISSION] - To e-mail, remove NOSPAM