Subject: [HUMOR] Top Ten Ways The Federation Would Beat The Empire Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 05:48:20 GMT From: Big Steve Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Drum roll please......... *Drum rolls by* Grr, that's not what I meant. Ah, just forget it. Here's the Top Ten Ways The Federation Would Beat The Empire. Top Ten Ways the Federation would beat the Galactic Empire: 10. Threaten to use lethal force, thereby causing every Imperial to laugh to death. 9. Have Data speak technobabble on an open frequency, causing the Imperials' brains to explode. 8. Ask the Vorlons if they can borrow the Vorlon Planet Killer. 7. Ask the Vorlons if they can borrow the whole damned fleet while they're at it! 6. Use the thingamajig with the doohickey to make the Imperial whatchamacallit go on the fritz. 5. Install Windows on their computers. 4. Equip the Voyager character shields to the entire fleet, making all Imperial weapons unable to harm their ships. 3. Beam Wesley Crusher to the Imperial flagship with Voyager-level character shielding, where he will proceed to annoy the Imperials so badly they commit suicide. 2. Flood their entertainment channels with Pokèmon!!!!!!! And the number one way the Federation would beat the Galactic Empire.... 1. Send "sexy" nude pictures of Captain Janeway to the Imperial High Command! -- How do you know if you've been in a real 'Mech battle? You walk out of it low on ammo, with a limp, and 5% armor remaining on each part of your torso. Natasha Kerensky: The nastiest badass to ever pilot a 'Mech