Career Planning from Gini McDonagh (mailto:71174.1771@compuserve.com)

Greeting! Congratulations on your decision to pursue a space career.
The following questionnaire will help you determine if you are better
suited to join The Imperial Space Academy or Star Fleet Academy. 

1.) What kind of uniform do you prefer:
a.) Intimidating body armor
b.) A leisure suit that looks like someone's jammies


2.) Which weapon would you feel more secure wielding:
a.) One that looks like a souped-up AK-47
b.) One that looks like a Dustbuster


3.) Which kind of commander do you want to work for:
a.) One who makes his wishes known and doesn't concern himself with
your "feelings"
b.) One who tears you apart as a person, then smiles and pats you on
the back to make it all better


4.) What kind of ship do you wish to serve on:
a.) One that looks powerful, intimidating and vaguely phallic
b.) One that looks like a Frisbee with antennae 


5.) What kind of artificial lifeforms do you prefer serving with:
a.) Mechanical-like ones capable of emotion
b.) A human-like one capable of whining about its lack of emotion


6.) What kind of government do you wish to serve:
a.) One that is openly dictatorial
b.) One that pretends at egalitarianism while keeping all the power
centralized in one insignificant solar system off toward the edge of
the galaxy


7.) How much area would you like to become familiar with:
a.) An entire galaxy
b.) Part of a couple of quadrants on the edge of a galaxy


8.) What kind of fellow officers would you like to serve with:
a.) Only Humans
b.) An assortment of humanoids distinguishable by their various
headbumps


9.) What kinds of aliens would you like to encounter:
a.) As varied as imaginable
b.) An assortment of humanoids distinguishable by their various
headbumps


10.) When approached by a potentially hostile ship do you prefer:
a.) Blasting it to smithereens at the first sign of trouble
b.) Leaving shields down until said ship lays a massive charge right
into your engineering section, leaving you reliant on wits alone


11.) An empathic counselor and says, "I sense that you're stressed."
Your reaction:
a.) Blast her
b.) Break down and cry


12.) How do you feel about inter-species sex:
a.) Sex? What's that?
b.) I'll sleep with anything that's anatomically compatible

If you answered predominantly "a", please submit your application to
the Imperial Space Academy. Those answering "b" should submit to Star
Fleet. 

CAUTION: If you are a nonhuman, you should submit to Star Fleet
regardless of your answers. They don't really promote many nonhumans,
but they pretend to. 

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"Our task of creating a socialist America can only 
succeed when those who would resist us have been 
totally disarmed."
-Sarah Brady, Chair, Handgun Control, Inc.