From: Spyda Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Subject: [TrollFic] A day in Queenstown Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 22:03:51 +1300 It was a good summer day. And Queenstown New Zealand is the place to be if your looking for a jump... bunjy jump that is. One day H!tman came running along the Queenstown bridge, sweat dripping from his brow. He came to the center of the bridge and found a man attending to the ropes. "Hey what's your hurry?" said the man. "Help! I just escaped from Lt Hitman! He's trying to torture me for trolling ASVS!" "Really?" "Yeah!" "Well maybe I can help." "Great! Say what's your name anyway?" "Oh I'm Spyda." "Name's H!tman." Without warning Spyda flung one of the ropes at H!tman. The rope had a pair of large steel fishhooks attached to the end. Each hook embedded itself in each of H!tman's testicles! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" With a mighty boot, Spyda kicked H!tman off the bridge. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHA! AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" H!itman rocketed to the bottom only to find himself yanked back up by his nads, almost tearing them. He kept swinging up and down like a yo-yo each move causing pain you could never imagine. "Hey Spyda what's up?" Lt Hitman said approaching Spyda on the bridge. "Oh nothing much, and yourself?" "A troll escaped this morning. You haven't seen him pass through have you?" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Came a voice from below "Is that him?" Spyda asked. "Yep that's him alright." Said the lieutenant looking down at the upside down figure. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN!!! COULD SOMEBODY........PLEASE HELP!" "I should probably pull him up now." Spyda said. "Might be an idea. Say...nice view you've got up here." "Yeah, it's pretty good down here. How's in going in the Empire these days anyway?" "Oh pretty good, they gave me a new E-11. This ones got that expanded mag I asked for." "Good to hear, it's about time they came though with that." "AHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came the voice from below "Hehe yeah I wish those damn eggheads would get their paper work done every now and then. How am I supposed to kill people with these delays?" Said Hitman ignoring the screams from below. "WHY OH GOD WONT I DIE! SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!" "Well Spyda, I must be going. I'll just take this off your hands." Lt Hitman grabs the rope and walks off, pulling H!tman up as he goes. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "See ya later Hitman!" "Later Spyda." "Hey are you heading down the pass?" "Yeah why?" "That's over 40 miles of gravel road isn't it?" "Yeah I thought I'd take the scenic route. I'll just tie junior here to the bumper and drag him behind, he could use the exercise." "Mommy take the bad men away. I don't wanna be dragged of gravel by my nuts at high speed!" Said H!tman as he was dragged away.