I figured out the secret behind The Da Vinci Code.
Believe me, it was difficult, but after months of research, painstaking reconstruction of events and retracing my steps, I have finally got the answer. And you will be astounded by it. The biggest secret to one of the hottest novels-turned-movies since The Lord of the Rings. This secret is so deep, in fact, that not even the Catholic Church has managed to figure it out yet.
What is the secret, you ask? Well, I'm not so sure you're ready to learn it yet. Are you truly willing to deal with the full repercussions of this most hidden truth? Are you willing to question everything you've ever been told about Dan Brown and his hit novel? Are you willing to set aside Tom Hanks' ridiculous hairdo?
If you answered "Yes" to all of these questions, then you might, just might, be ready to figure out the greatest secret in The Da Vinci Code's history. But first, let me tell you how I finally figured it out.
The evening chill cut through the thin material of my fleece, despite the heat of the day earlier. I had just finished eating dinner and was out to do some browsing at my local bookstore. I was looking for hints for the secret behind The Da Vinci Code and so far had had no luck. I felt it would be my lucky night.
As I took my Civic down Old Country Road, I reflected on the path that led me to this point. It was on a night like this, not very long ago, when I first picked up a copy of a book during a family outing to an Outback Steakhouse in Queens. It was sitting there, a sticker on it marking an attractive discount, and I decided that it was a good bargain for a hardcover. Not knowing what I'd get myself into, I picked it up.
Little did I realize that I would not get to read it for a full month. Yes, first my older sister pinched the book from me to read it first, then my aunt, then my mother, and finally my younger sister. It had passed through four pairs of hands before I could even crack the binding; who knows what deeds they had done to the novel?
My worries were in vain; the book and the text contained therein were mercifully unharmed. I delved into the story of Robert Langdon and the greatest secret in human history, and was left satisfied - but a little underwhelmed - at the story. My interest was therefore piqued when a feature film based on the novel was announced, especially since it was being directed by Ron Howard and starred Tom Hanks and Paul Bettany. A promising cast, to say the least.
Imagine my surprise when the controversy stormed up.
First there were accusations of plagiarism. The book took ideas from a non-fiction work that was previously written! Surely Dan Brown was in a world of shit. Fortunately for him, the judge in the case dismissed it with a clever document that also contained a hidden code - a code which has nothing to do with the book, sadly. But that wasn't the end of the controversy. As the movie neared its release date, other controversies popped up. Some called it blasphemy. Some called it an attack on Christianity. The Catholic Church out and out supported a boycott of the movie. For what reason, I could not fathom, especially after I found out the secret behind The Da Vinci Code
Back to my discovery. I headed to the shopping center on Glen Cove Road, to the now two-story Barnes & Noble that had recently been renovated. I walked in and immediately headed to a stack of familiar red dust jackets, each of them showing an image of the face of Mona Lisa. I stood there for a moment, trying to put the pieces together. What did it all mean? What was the secret? I glanced around, looking for pointers, when I noticed a sign on the wall.
It was all so simple. The truth slammed into me and brought me to my knees. I stared reverentially at the sign, the solution, the answer to it all. I had finally done it.
I read the word again, and I knew that all of those who stood opposed to the film...all those snub-nosed, self-righteous Catholics, all those powers-that-be that wanted nothing more than to have the book banned, to have the movie banned even, missed the most important clue of all. The following are the glyhps I transcribed that fateful day:
"FICTION"